guys,
I appreciate so much the support I have received here. Celtics Blog is truly a community. I will take this suggestions I have recieved, with a special shoutout to the private messages, and see what I can do. I could not state how much it means to me to have advice from celtics supporters that don't know me. Its been tough, and you guys have been truly phenomal. You have helped someone in a way that transcends sports. Thank you for that.
Clearly you have a ton of emotional issues going on here. I'm not a psychiatrist so I'm not even going to begin to go down the road of emotional advice. I can only offer what has worked for me: exercise. You might not think it, but try hitting the gym. Go out for a long run. Play some hoops. Go hiking. Run a 5k in memory of your mom. Get out there, get active and you'll see how tired you'll get and how your clear your mind can get.
I know when I've had a lot of things on my mind, going out for a solid 10-15 miler (not saying you should do this unless you're already in good shape) has helped me a lot. Plus, by the time 10pm rolls around, my head hits the pillow and I'm OUT.
Hope you can get better. Give it a shot though.