Expression of Grief

[Rondo2287]

My condolences on the loss of your friend. Losing people we love is not something we get over. We never get over it. But we learn to incorporate the loss into our lives and keep them close to us in our hearts. My son, Matt, has been gone for more than 3 years now. He was only 23, a casualty of the Iraq war. Grieving for him and our life together is natural and it couldn't be otherwise. Don't fight your grief. Grief is not something you go through, but rather something that goes through you. Talking about it here is the best thing you could have done. We all understand your pain and are with you.

Great post Mmbaby and im sorry about your son, and I want to thank you and him for his sacrifice

[mgent]

I'll pray you have a quick recovery.  Grief is natural, but I wish no one had to go through it.  Best to get everything out and let time start to heal.

[Bahku]

My condolences on the loss of your friend. Losing people we love is not something we get over. We never get over it. But we learn to incorporate the loss into our lives and keep them close to us in our hearts. My son, Matt, has been gone for more than 3 years now. He was only 23, a casualty of the Iraq war. Grieving for him and our life together is natural and it couldn't be otherwise. Don't fight your grief. Grief is not something you go through, but rather something that goes through you. Talking about it here is the best thing you could have done. We all understand your pain and are with you.

Great post Mmbaby and im sorry about your son, and I want to thank you and him for his sacrifice

Absolutely, and I agree completely ... to me there is no greater hero than those who sacrifice themselves for their country, and the families and loved ones who support them. God bless our troops!

[thirstyboots18]

Thank you, mmbaby, and God bless you and your son, Matt.  I do understand what you are saying.  When I lost my father, years ago, waves of grief kept crashing over me.  Like the tide, the waves, even years later, still come, but now they wash gently against me bringing happier memories.  Hopefully it will be the same for you.  We can never replace loved ones, but we can let them live on in our memories.

[thirstyboots18]

Thanks, Greenfaith and tai.  I'm afraid I cant keep up with you all.  Not to make light of things, but you are all boosting my post numbers (GRIN).  See you have made me feel better already.

[GreenFaith1819]

My condolences on the loss of your friend. Losing people we love is not something we get over. We never get over it. But we learn to incorporate the loss into our lives and keep them close to us in our hearts. My son, Matt, has been gone for more than 3 years now. He was only 23, a casualty of the Iraq war. Grieving for him and our life together is natural and it couldn't be otherwise. Don't fight your grief. Grief is not something you go through, but rather something that goes through you. Talking about it here is the best thing you could have done. We all understand your pain and are with you.

Sorry to hear about your loss, mmbaby.

The most frightening thing for me is that my oldest son who is 11 is really considering following my footsteps and joining the military. He is having me teach him how to salute and everything. He seems really determined to do it.

You always want the best for your sons, but for me it's something that I've struggled with. I considered myself serving and going into harm's way so my son's wouldn't have to. I'll support him either way, but still.....

Praying for you and ThirstyBoots. God Bless you both.

[mmbaby]

Thanks everyone! I wasn't expecting such kind words. Means A LOT! God bless all of our troops and watch over them. I would not send/allow/encourage my other son to war. It damages young men in ways that can never be repaired. I wish they would send the older soldiers, not the new, young ones. Anyhoo, that's it.
Thanks so much.

[Kiorrik]

A bit late, but I want to wish the both of you (Mmbaby & TB) all the strength in the world to cope with such losses.

I have yet to really experience a loss in my life, having lost just my grandpa, grandma and my other grandma, and an aunt. All of them died of cancer, my aunt at the age of 52 after fighting the disease for 15 years. That's the one that got to me the most, but it still doesn't come close to that of either of you, so I really can't imagine what it's like.

I hope you find, or have found a way to cope, to at least live with knowing someones not there anymore.

[mmbaby]

Thanks Kiorrik, it is hard to live. Your words give strength and are full of compassion.

[thirstyboots18]

Thank you Kiorrik for the kind words.  Do not down play your grief...it is a valid as anyone elses.  We all live through it sooner or later.  Sometimes it is easier to "let go" than other times, that is all.  We will miss those who pass before us, and keep them alive in our memories. A few of my friends and relatives have passed.  I miss them all. (One of my favorite sayings is "Let go and let God," but, boy, can it be hard to live up to. 

[Kiorrik]

I believe you take lessons away from everyone you meet. That's what keeps them "alive" in your head.

As for my aunt, I remember her putting me in my place one time when I asked how fast she was driving while I was in the back of the car. She told me it was none of my business, and I had already seen she was going a few miles over the speed limit

It taught me to keep my thoughts to myself, and not be too inquisitive

I guess it's a bit like Kwan eating the lobsters, I guess
It's memories like that, that keep reminding me of people that are no longer around...

I'm sure mmbaby has remembers Matt like that too. Distinct events that stand out.

And I don't think I was downplaying the loss. I feel just as bad as everyone else does when I think of my aunt - I just haven't shared as much moments like the above with her as you guys have with the ones you've lost. That's why I have a lot of respect for people going through such harsh losses; they get reminded of it a lot.