Feeling Hypocritical

[jojowhite10]

Hey Celticsblog,

I am sending this message because I feel like it is the easiest way to get a variety of responses, while not having to feel very uncomfortable by the topic.

I am a 20-something year old male, and have a firm grasp on my goals, beliefs, priorities, etc. One thing my friends always say about me is that I definitely stand for something, and will let you know about it.

As a 20-something year old guy, oftentimes hanging out with your buddies is synonymous with drinking/smoking/generally behaving a little childish. To say I have become disillusioned with the normal social scene would be an understatement. I am not bashing alcohol, or drugs, or anything of that sort. I think that seeing and feeling different states of consciousness is just as valuable as meeting different people. It shows you a different way of experiencing life, and allows for a greater perspective on how others take things in.

Anyways, I really don't enjoy going out. I don't enjoy the "girl-hunting" scene. I was/am a decent looking guy, and there have been phases of my life where I have been involved sexually with more women than I would care to admit.

Anyways, how can I change things? Do you think the best move is to just explain to my friends that I love them, I love their support and the relationships they provide, but I am not interested in compromising my idea of what I need to be doing in life in order to hang out with them after 8pm.

Any advice would be awesome. Thanks y'all.

[Celtics4ever]

Sometimes being a man means walking your own path.   

[Mr Green]

Hi Jojo,

I highly recommend that you join a gym and train every evening.

You'll save money by not going to clubs, feel better by not drinking and smoking plus meet other people with similar morals and philosophies to what you have written.

Don't worry about your buddies, in 10-15 years time they'll be exactly where you left them ... nowhere.

[Moranis]

I don't see why you can't just hang out with your friends once or twice a week and then do your own thing the rest of the week.  You could get together at a bar and watch a game, you could start a poker night, you could go play golf or join some sports team with your buddies.  Lots of things you can do that doesn't involve going to the bar.

[CelticConcourse]

If you believe saying "explain[ing] to my friends that I love them, I love their support and the relationships they provide, but I am not interested in compromising my idea of what I need to be doing in life in order to hang out with them after 8pm." is the right thing, then go ahead and say it.

It's your life and you should be in control of it, and there's no law saying you have to hang out with your fridns after 8pm. If you want to do something else, I strongly encourage pursuing it. I'm sure they won't mind. (you can still hang out with them every so often though) I agree with what you say, and I'm sure you'll choose the right path, whatever it may be for you!

[Eja117]

Sometimes being a man means walking your own path.

This.


Also there is nothing wrong with being hypocritical. The sign doesn't have to go there to point the way

[CelticG1]

Is it more the drinking partying aspect that you are sick of or the spending money or both?

Do you not feel like hanging out with people or your friends in general or do you not feel like partying in general anymore or scaling it back?

I've shot it pretty straight with my friends and they don't really care at all.

Basically for me in no particular order:
1. I don't feel like spending a ton of money on booze/cabs for bars
2. I don't feel like being hungover etc.
3. Trying to be a little more healthy and cut back
4. Bars suck most of the time I'd rather hang at my place with whoever will come over

I'm sure there are other reasons as well. I also am married but that's usually never a reason for me not to go out unless I have a real obligation.

Basically I've been with my friends through college and even now rent the bottom of my buddies 2 family house out with him (and 2 other friends)living upstairs and at this point as well as earlier I just don't feel pressured into doing anything unless I want to.

I still go out a decent amount or will do whatever but I have no problem saying no thanks plenty of nights.