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Do holidays bum people out?

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celticsclay:
I have a feeling this is a more common thing than most people publicly speak about. I’m 35 years old and my whole family has passed away except for my brother. I’ll be darned if I don’t find the whole thing quite depressing. On one Hand I’m thankful I have a lot of friends that send me cards for the holidays. The flip side is getting smiling pictures of smiling couples and babies can feel like a reminder of things you don’t have in life. What are others thoughts? Tps in advance for all

CelticsElite:
Yes

blink:

--- Quote from: CelticsElite on December 24, 2018, 01:05:42 AM ---Yes

--- End quote ---

X2

Sorry I don’t have much advice for you other than you aren’t alone in how you feel.  I think most people get sucked into having big expectations at the holidays.  When those turn out poorly or you feel left out it only magnifies it.  My mom passed away last year and the holidays def haven’t been the same since.

Sometimes it can help to reach out to other people who don’t have as much family and invite them over for Xmas.  Even if you aren’t the greatest friends people appreciate having somewhere to go on Xmas.  My mom was a teacher and she used to invite any of the other teachers over for Xmas dinner if they didn’t have somewhere to go.

 It don’t forget to watch the C’s too.
Cheers!

Celtics4ever:
They don't me, but they definitely are hard on a lot of people.

https://www.webmd.com/depression/holiday-depression-stress


Tips:


--- Quote ---Loneliness:
For people without a significant other, who don’t have family or who live far from family, the holidays can be especially tough. While longing for company, lonely people may isolate even more leaving them feeling even worse.

Remedies:

Resist the temptation to hunker down. Get up and get moving even if it’s only for a series of short excursions to your favorite café or bookstore. The goal is to be around people. Having a brief conversation or simply exchanging smiles lifts your mood says Kenneth Yeager, PhD, clinical director of the Stress, Trauma and Resilience (STAR) Program at Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center.
Find new ways to keep yourself occupied so you don’t dwell on your aloneness. Book a tour and see the city you live in through the eyes of enthusiastic visitors suggests psychotherapist and trauma expert Ross Rosenberg of Clinical Care Consultants in Arlington Heights, IL. Just being a part of an animated group can reenergize you. Or volunteer at an animal shelter or somewhere that gets you out of your head while keeping your spirit engaged and uplifted.
Call someone that you think might be feeling like you. “Take a chance,” says Rosenberg. You may find that person is happy to chat or share some time with you. “Let yourself feel the pleasure of connection without the fear of rejection,” Rosenberg adds.

Loss:
If you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, the idea of experiencing happiness during the holidays might make you feel guilty or disrespectful to the memory of that person.

Remedies:

We all experience some degree of survivor guilt says Dr. Yeager.  But it’s important to not let “expectations about how you should feel dictate how you actually feel,” he says.  “Being respectful to those we’ve lost should include memories of good times together.  A smile is just as loving as a tear.”
While you shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s OK to feel sad and to acknowledge to yourself and to others that you miss your loved one.

Missing Holidays Past:
Memories and traditions are a big part of the holidays. If your current life circumstances aren’t the best, you may get stuck longing for the happier times in the past at the expense of the present.

Remedies:
Create new traditions. There are no hard rules for what your holiday should look like. If you’re worried that repeating an old tradition will make you sad, reinvent it for the present.  No kids at home.  Make that family cookie recipe for children stuck in the hospital.
And if it’s too difficult to stay where you are, give yourself permission to go somewhere that doesn’t hold any memories.  Book a hotel in a town nearby or a city far away, plan a few activities, buy yourself a present and revel in the anonymity, suggests Rosenberg.
--- End quote ---

https://www.psycom.net/beat-holiday-depression/

Surferdad:
Not really bummed out, but I am not a fan of the whole thing.  I didn't grow up celebrating Christmas so it doesn't excite me the way it does for others who had that tradition as a kid.  I'm also from a very frugal family and spending a lot of money on holiday gifts was also not a family trait.  I detest shopping in general and especially this time of year.  That said, I've celebrated with my wife's family for the past 38 years and I enjoy being with them to celebrate and give thanks.

What seems missing is any emphasis on helping those less fortunate.  Just for once, I'd like my sister-in-law to say, "No party, we're all going to work in the soup kitchen this year."  It would be wonderful lesson and experience for my wife's nieces and nephews.

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