What works with women better: Nice guy or jerk?

[TheReaLPuba]

If you want to get laid with a hot girl then yea you got to be a "jerk" or "bad ass" cause they just stand out and exude confidence to the extreme...even if it's fake.

But if you want a serious relationship you def. want to be a "nice guy" who can be a "bad ass" when called upon.

And people who keep saying it's "confidence" and "be yourself" is kinda right....you don't want to be yourself really you want to be someone the girl wants and hasn't seen before. You don't want to go up to a girl who's a 10 and say she's hot...she's probably heard that line all her life and is bored outta her mind.

To make it simple...just pretend you're in Las Vegas and lie the crap out of your ass....and this is why guys lie. Girls don't want guys they want a fantasy and they want to talk about it with their gal pals the next day.....

....actually don't listen to me because I think girls are psycho anyways

[jaketwice]

What has made me confident with women is having had some success with women...  How can I say it: make sure she has fun.

Being yourself is the best way to meet women, because women, like every other person, want to meet an original and interesting person - and the only version of you who that actually is, is the person you are without trying.

Lastly: if your focus is simply on sleeping with women, or on sleeping with a type of woman, you're already lost. If you were a beautiful woman, would you like to be a notch on some schmoe's belt? Being a woman is not a synonym for being stupid. Beautiful women see guys that want to sleep with them all the time. What's so good about you?

If you go out and introduce yourself to a lot of people with the intention of maybe making friends, or getting to know people, you will be much better off. Better that than pretending to be a jerk.

It's much better to be yourself, and simply have standards that prevent you from considering anyone who is not beautiful to you. If you dress nicely, have a decent job, a car, a nice personality, and are good in bed, they'll come looking for you.

Believe that you have what it takes to make someone happy!

[orrzor]

I find some of these posts slightly misogynistic and way over-generalizing. I mean reducing a woman to a number? What's the matter with some of you?

The funniest thing is no woman has commented on this thread, probably because they are rolling their eyes. If you have to pretend to be somebody else, like a jerk, to get with a "hot girl", you should maybe rethink whether lieing to yourself and others is so healthy.

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

[Robb]

I find some of these posts slightly misogynistic and way over-generalizing. I mean reducing a woman to a number? What's the matter with some of you?

I agree to a point.  But the OP had a question and I think the women he's looking to find are playing the same game he's playing.  I think it's thinking less of women to say that they don't know this kind of thing is going on and that they don't expect it.  Plus, it's his thread, I'll play by his rules.

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

Obviously it's contextual, but I think there is a difference with the "in front of others" aspect.  Among friends I can give my friends crap and they can give me crap, but if we were with other people then there is a different context and I would hope they would react accordingly.

[BigThreePeat]

I find some of these posts slightly misogynistic and way over-generalizing. I mean reducing a woman to a number? What's the matter with some of you?

The funniest thing is no woman has commented on this thread, probably because they are rolling their eyes. If you have to pretend to be somebody else, like a jerk, to get with a "hot girl", you should maybe rethink whether lieing to yourself and others is so healthy.

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

This kind of post was inevitable.  Someone has to play the offended nice guy. 

But orrzor... just so you know... there are no girls on the internet. 

[Roy Hobbs]

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

Yeah, I was a bit puzzled by that comment, too.  I've been pretty content with my friend group, and we rag on each other quite a bit.  I don't think any of us have that much problem meeting women, either.

[orrzor]

I find some of these posts slightly misogynistic and way over-generalizing. I mean reducing a woman to a number? What's the matter with some of you?

The funniest thing is no woman has commented on this thread, probably because they are rolling their eyes. If you have to pretend to be somebody else, like a jerk, to get with a "hot girl", you should maybe rethink whether lieing to yourself and others is so healthy.

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

This kind of post was inevitable.  Someone has to play the offended nice guy. 

But orrzor... just so you know... there are no girls on the internet. 

TP haha no girls on the internet. I'm pretty sure FLCeltsFan (she does the newspaper links) is a woman though...

[Edgar]

girls on the internet just love to read how all of us inferiors think...

[davemonsterband]

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

Yeah, I was a bit puzzled by that comment, too.  I've been pretty content with my friend group, and we rag on each other quite a bit.  I don't think any of us have that much problem meeting women, either.

If I'm chasing a girl like that I want to put everything into it and that goes for helping my friends achieve the same goals for themselves, we made a pact one day to stop cutting each other up in front of hotties and it's done nothing but help everyone, we save the cutting up for the day after. Of course there are times where it's inevitable but the "why is everybody picking me today" guys always ends up being the lonely chump, why give one of your friends the opportunity to have such a low status at all? I can carry the load with enough intellectual humor that gets everyone talking to make up for it, we don't feel like we're missing a thing. Watching pretty girls laughing and smiling and being happy instead of causing tension keeps the mood light and open. Just how we see it, that's all.

[zerophase]

The funniest thing is no woman has commented on this thread, probably because they are rolling their eyes. If you have to pretend to be somebody else, like a jerk, to get with a "hot girl", you should maybe rethink whether lieing to yourself and others is so healthy.

...well, it's probably because they don't exist on these types of sports fanatic message boards?

[Roy Hobbs]

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

Yeah, I was a bit puzzled by that comment, too.  I've been pretty content with my friend group, and we rag on each other quite a bit.  I don't think any of us have that much problem meeting women, either.

If I'm chasing a girl like that I want to put everything into it and that goes for helping my friends achieve the same goals for themselves, we made a pact one day to stop cutting each other up in front of hotties and it's done nothing but help everyone, we save the cutting up for the day after. Of course there are times where it's inevitable but the "why is everybody picking me today" guys always ends up being the lonely chump, why give one of your friends the opportunity to have such a low status at all? I can carry the load with enough intellectual humor that gets everyone talking to make up for it, we don't feel like we're missing a thing. Watching pretty girls laughing and smiling and being happy instead of causing tension keeps the mood light and open. Just how we see it, that's all.

If your comments were only confined to picking up girls for one night stands, agreed.  You don't want one of your friends always blowing up your spot.  If you're just out with the boys, or once you're in a relationship, I'm big on kidding around, though.

[CoachBo]

There isn't a definitive way to answer this question, because all of us of both genders are different.

A better question is what your goals as guys are in meeting women.

[davemonsterband]

Also for that person who said never let your friends poke fun at you in front of others, you must have really boring friends sorry. Lighten up, if guy friends can't rib on each other/insult each other you're grealty missing out.

Yeah, I was a bit puzzled by that comment, too.  I've been pretty content with my friend group, and we rag on each other quite a bit.  I don't think any of us have that much problem meeting women, either.

Fo sho, trust me, I sure as heck don't like dealing with women you have to do those sorts of things for, it's garbage really, but when i do go about it that's how I feel it should work to best optimize being successful, should have said that from the beginning.

If I'm chasing a girl like that I want to put everything into it and that goes for helping my friends achieve the same goals for themselves, we made a pact one day to stop cutting each other up in front of hotties and it's done nothing but help everyone, we save the cutting up for the day after. Of course there are times where it's inevitable but the "why is everybody picking me today" guys always ends up being the lonely chump, why give one of your friends the opportunity to have such a low status at all? I can carry the load with enough intellectual humor that gets everyone talking to make up for it, we don't feel like we're missing a thing. Watching pretty girls laughing and smiling and being happy instead of causing tension keeps the mood light and open. Just how we see it, that's all.

If your comments were only confined to picking up girls for one night stands, agreed.  You don't want one of your friends always blowing up your spot.  If you're just out with the boys, or once you're in a relationship, I'm big on kidding around, though.

[dksidey]

As much as this sounds like a hallmark piece of advice, get comfortable with yourself. When you like yourself (thereby creating a confidence that can't be faked) women will find that attractive and be pre-disposed to like you also. I don't mean love yourself in a vain way or in a self centered desperate way, I just mean like the person you are to the point where it doesn't matter to you what other people think about your quirks or flaws. Once you get to that point, the confidence that the previous posters have been emphasizing will shine through and at that point you can just let you be you and girls will like it.

Warning: This advice may not apply to the absolutely out of their mind crazy girls, but trust me thats a good thing too.

[CelticBalla32]

Why does everybody have to worry about what a certain "class" of women think about them, all the time? The best advice anybody can give you is be yourself and do whatever feels right/natural. If you truly are a good person, something will come along for you at some point.

That's the way I see it, anyway.