Haha, good stuff. But I don't recognize myself in any of these categories.
I'd say I'm maybe Eddie Curry. I only run the floor for the first 8 possessions (during that short period of time, I'm a combo of The Player/Coach and The Hustler with skills). After that, I only play in the post (Freud explains: when playing structured basketball, I was forced to play in the backcourt because of my 6'2'' height, but my vocation was always the post - I grew up salivating over McHale/Hakeem/Sabonis moves). I stand at the top of the key with the hands on my knees, I hit a screen from time to time, otherwise I move to the low post and ask frenetically for pass: if I don't receive it I walk back, if I do all the other ballers have the chance of feasting their eyes with my refined up'and'unders, drop-steps, duck unders, upfakes, stepbacks, etc etc. I never pass (for the good of the team). Unfortunately, as I don't like to travel, I can only execute most of them very slowly and my shot gets blocked a lot unless we're playing novices. I'm a very good post defender, except when the other guy runs a lot and takes jump-shots. He usually does. So, just leave a message if you want me in your team