My girl is very upset with me and I need advice.

[JSD]

I want to thank the many on here that gave me such good advice.

I took a lot from different posters who have had varying experiences and unique ways of handling their own situation. I was able to hand pick through and customize what matches up best with my situation.

Everyone is different with some people being very immature on one hand but “years ahead” when dealing with a different situation. I think that may apply here. I have a wonderful person in my life. Our strengths as a couple far outweigh are weaknesses. I happened to air the biggest controversy in our relationship public on Celticslog because I was nervous. After meeting some of the best and brightest on these pages, this is where I turned for feedback and input like I have so many times before for varies other topics (although usually pertaining to the Celtics/basketball).

I showed an ugly couple pixels of a big beautiful picture…

Yesterday was filled with high emotion and it was the aftermath of the first experience I’ve had really disappointing and hurting the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. She reacted on pure “This is the end of the world emotion” and in my head I reacted the same way.

I’m a simple person. I work, go to school, exercise and I come home eat dinner and spend time with Ashley. Occasionally I’ll go fishing or mess around with music applications on my computer. I threw her a curveball inside and it hit her on the face. She got upset, had something to say, threatened charge but ultimately took her base.

I went home last night and to my surprise she was there. I comforted and reminded her “I have everything I need physically and emotionally right here.” She began to ease up. Soon the emotion starting to whittle to the point we could actually have a conversation. I summarized her fear “I understand why you are upset, your interpretation was by giving her attention that would lead to conversation as if I was looking for something from her. That’s not the case.” fortunately my track record backed that up. 

Her ring is still on her finger and later on that night she was on the phone with one of her bridesmaids making dress plans…

Although this isn’t 100% over I’d say I’m past the hardest part…

Thanks again for the support guys

I posted this when I proposed in February

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooVmJ01D3jo

thats great news J. that video is all class my man. sounds like she wised up . i recognize that boardwalk in that picture at the 1:08 mark. i was there a couple of months ago thats a nice beach. my gf and i went up there trying to get our fortunes told but she wasnt there. guess she wasnt that psychic or else she wouldve known we were coming. congrats on the tragedy averted.

Old Orchard? Or maybe the psychic knew you were coming and closed 

Haha, but seriously thanks for the kind words things are going well.

She is very fixated on this trip 

[BballTim]

When Pierce getting pulled over for a traffic violation and Jsaad's love life are to two most talked about things on Celticsblog, you know it's the offseason.

  This is all Ainge's fault. This whole skipping the  summer league thing was too much for the blog to take.

[NicaraguanFan]

You should keep a copy of this thread to show your offspring in the years to come

[dark_lord]

wow...i come back from vacation and saw this thread.  this thread was more entertaining and interesting than a paternity test episode of maury!   

glad things worked out ok for u jsaad.

[RickyDavisfor3]

Another Tommy Point for JS. Just because.

[bucknersrevenge]

I want to thank the many on here that gave me such good advice.

I took a lot from different posters who have had varying experiences and unique ways of handling their own situation. I was able to hand pick through and customize what matches up best with my situation.

Everyone is different with some people being very immature on one hand but “years ahead” when dealing with a different situation. I think that may apply here. I have a wonderful person in my life. Our strengths as a couple far outweigh are weaknesses. I happened to air the biggest controversy in our relationship public on Celticslog because I was nervous. After meeting some of the best and brightest on these pages, this is where I turned for feedback and input like I have so many times before for varies other topics (although usually pertaining to the Celtics/basketball).

I showed an ugly couple pixels of a big beautiful picture…

Yesterday was filled with high emotion and it was the aftermath of the first experience I’ve had really disappointing and hurting the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. She reacted on pure “This is the end of the world emotion” and in my head I reacted the same way.

I’m a simple person. I work, go to school, exercise and I come home eat dinner and spend time with Ashley. Occasionally I’ll go fishing or mess around with music applications on my computer. I threw her a curveball inside and it hit her on the face. She got upset, had something to say, threatened charge but ultimately took her base.

I went home last night and to my surprise she was there. I comforted and reminded her “I have everything I need physically and emotionally right here.” She began to ease up. Soon the emotion starting to whittle to the point we could actually have a conversation. I summarized her fear “I understand why you are upset, your interpretation was by giving her attention that would lead to conversation as if I was looking for something from her. That’s not the case.” fortunately my track record backed that up. 

Her ring is still on her finger and later on that night she was on the phone with one of her bridesmaids making dress plans…

Although this isn’t 100% over I’d say I’m past the hardest part…

Thanks again for the support guys

I posted this when I proposed in February

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooVmJ01D3jo

thats great news J. that video is all class my man. sounds like she wised up . i recognize that boardwalk in that picture at the 1:08 mark. i was there a couple of months ago thats a nice beach. my gf and i went up there trying to get our fortunes told but she wasnt there. guess she wasnt that psychic or else she wouldve known we were coming. congrats on the tragedy averted.

Old Orchard? Or maybe the psychic knew you were coming and closed 

Haha, but seriously thanks for the kind words things are going well.

She is very fixated on this trip 

lol that very well couldve been it man. we were gonna ask her about us so maybe she left to avoid giving us bad news or something. anyways i have been corrected by her cuz im always wrong. the beach we went to was salisbury beach not old orchard. what trip?

[JSD]

"lol that very well couldve been it man. we were gonna ask her about us so maybe she left to avoid giving us bad news or something. anyways i have been corrected by her cuz im always wrong. the beach we went to was salisbury beach not old orchard. what trip?"


Oh I posted this right before your initial post:

"I told her to pack for the night this Saturday because where going away.

she said "I hate surprises I need to know what to pack"

I said "pack your nicest gown."

I'm taking her a camping trip...

I'd say she's thrown off "

[TripleOT]

Dude, I'd be very wary of a possible spouse that would actually snoop around on my computer, and if you don't at least address that issue, you might be looking at more serious issues down the road. 

I didn't think your MySpace comment was that big of a deal, but in that she did, you might want to suggest what is and isn't acceptable in your dealings with other people of the opposite sex.
 
You might also want to agree to what boundries you both need as to privacy issues in the future. If you both are comfortable with being totally open books with each other, great, but if not, it's not fair that one party feels the right to snoop on page after page of private computer correspondence. 

Good luck to the both of you. 

[JSD]

Dude, I'd be very wary of a possible spouse that would actually snoop around on my computer, and if you don't at least address that issue, you might be looking at more serious issues down the road. 

I didn't think your MySpace comment was that big of a deal, but in that she did, you might want to suggest what is and isn't acceptable in your dealings with other people of the opposite sex.
 
You might also want to agree to what boundries you both need as to privacy issues in the future. If you both are comfortable with being totally open books with each other, great, but if not, it's not fair that one party feels the right to snoop on page after page of private computer correspondence. 

Good luck to the both of you. 

BTW, When I started this post I thought I would get maybe 4 - 5 responses with advice... This is a great community.

TripeOT, thanks for adding.

I appreciate your concern about the privacy issue

* Honestly, If your girl doesn't sign out of myspace, leaves the house and you hop on the computer are you signing out?

I think 90% are headed for the inbox/outbox, it is Human nature.

I'm marrying this woman and  I should have nothing to hide anyway (99.9% of the time I don't). 


*curious (not jerky) tone

[Roy Hobbs]

* Honestly, If your girl doesn't sign out of myspace, leaves the house and you hop on the computer are you signing out?

I think 90% are headed for the inbox/outbox, it is Human nature.

Really?  In all honesty...  there's no way I would.  0% chance.  Privacy and respect for others are HUGE issues with me, and I wouldn't breach that for anything.  You'd really be 100% comfortable doing that, and you think 9 out of 10 other people would be, too?

[JSD]

* Honestly, If your girl doesn't sign out of myspace, leaves the house and you hop on the computer are you signing out?

I think 90% are headed for the inbox/outbox, it is Human nature.

Really?  In all honesty...  there's no way I would.  0% chance.  Privacy and respect for others are HUGE issues with me, and I wouldn't breach that for anything.  You'd really be 100% comfortable doing that, and you think 9 out of 10 other people would be, too?

I think our "reality show" culture is very impulsive and dramatic...

so yes the large majority.

Me?

In my past I'm probably part of the 90%.

I'm part of the 10% with Ashley though.

I know this because she has left her phone at home before and I didn't care to go near it.

I might be more annoyed if I didn't have anything to hide I guess.


Ok Roy,

What if you started to get that feeling at the pit of your stomach like somethings not right...

You think to yourself, "Hmm... am I being paranoid or is she being disloyal to me?"

Now you hop on your computer and she's signed on myspace and you are faced with the opportunity to find out for sure?

[Roy Hobbs]

Ok Roy,

What if you started to get that feeling at the pit of your stomach like somethings not right...

You think to yourself, "Hmm... am I being paranoid or is she being disloyal to me?"

Now you hop on your computer and she's signed on myspace and you are faced with the opportunity to find out for sure?

Honestly again?  If I thought my relationship was in that dire of a situation, I'd discuss the issue with my girlfriend, and if I still didn't trust her, I'd end it.  From my perspective, once trust is dead in a relationship, it's over.  I'd rather be alone, than be with somebody where I felt comfortable rifling through their stuff. 

I mean -- speaking only in my situation -- would my paranoia and mistrust be alleviated if I didn't find anything?  Or would I simply start snooping through other areas of her personal life, until my paranoid delusion became self-fulfilling?

Again:  I'm not saying all of those things about your girl.  However, that's where it would have to get to for me to go through her stuff. 

[JSD]

Ok Roy,

What if you started to get that feeling at the pit of your stomach like somethings not right...

You think to yourself, "Hmm... am I being paranoid or is she being disloyal to me?"

Now you hop on your computer and she's signed on myspace and you are faced with the opportunity to find out for sure?

Honestly again?  If I thought my relationship was in that dire of a situation, I'd discuss the issue with my girlfriend, and if I still didn't trust her, I'd end it.  From my perspective, once trust is dead in a relationship, it's over.  I'd rather be alone, than be with somebody where I felt comfortable rifling through their stuff. 

I mean -- speaking only in my situation -- would my paranoia and mistrust be alleviated if I didn't find anything?  Or would I simply start snooping through other areas of her personal life, until my paranoid delusion became self-fulfilling?

Again:  I'm not saying all of those things about your girl.  However, that's where it would have to get to for me to go through her stuff. 

Fair enough,

You are a very secure and confident person. I'm sure these traits have helped you with relationships, school and career.

I do think the large  majority of people are not as secure in relations/self and are headed for the inbox.

[Roy Hobbs]

My point is the large  majority of people are not as secure in relations/self and are headed for the inbox.

That may be true.  I just hope your 90% figure is off a little.  I'd like to have *some* hope for humanity.

[JSD]

My point is the large  majority of people are not as secure in relations/self and are headed for the inbox.

That may be true.  I just hope your 90% figure is off a little.  I'd like to have *some* hope for humanity.

I hear that, I just kind of threw 90% out there. I really have no idea.

 I think there is still hope