My girl is very upset with me and I need advice.

[LarBrd33]

Jesus LB, you are a force of nature...

Yah.  I got issues. 

but anyways... to jsaad... dump the girl and make me an offer for Yao Ming.  Focus, man, Focus!

[TheReaLPuba]

Jsaad...

I just figured out what your "Comment" was.  

You think that's bad?  That's NOTHING.   Check this out...

I have a nutty stepfather who use to hate me, because we  had nothing in common.  When I was 13, I had low self esteem and was a bit anti-social.   When I would visit my mother in Florida, I would basically hang around, go swimming and play video games.  He didn't understand why I wasn't out chasing chicks, has no interest in girls and didn't like to party.  Seriously, the guy had no respect for me, because I was just a goofy 13 year old.

Flash forward 11 years.   I was having a conversation with my mom on AIM (I live in Seattle and she lives in Florida) and she was asking me about the girl I was dating.  The girl was pretty darn cute and I sent my mom a couple pictures of her.  She then proceeded to freak out about how "gorgeous" the girl was and said, "hold on... I have to show Fred (her husband)".   So suddenly my prick step father is talking to me online and says, "Show me the blonde!".    At this point, I felt like my mom had overhyped the whole thing.  I mean, the girl was a cutie but she wasn't Jessica Alba or something.   So I felt the need to temper his expectations and undersell it.   What would you do in this situation?  Here's what I told him.

"Haha... I mean... she's not that hot.  It's not serious... just some chick I'm banging... haha...  but here is the picture."     I sent him the picture.  He proceeded to give me many "WOAH!  WELL DONE MY MAN!! WELL DONE!!" comments... and I felt great joy in my catch.  Lol...

Guess what?  

You can probably see where this is going...

I left the [dang] AIM chat window open.    I had the girl over that night.  She slept over.   In the morning, I went to make breakfast while she used my computer to surf the net.    We had plans to go boating that day.  She had been excited all week about going boating (since she didn't know anyone with a boat).  It was for Seattle's "SeaFair"... so we were out on the water all day swimming in the lake and watching the blue angels fly over our heads.   She seemed a little distant the entire day and I couldn't figure out why.  She was a little passive aggressive with me and I couldn't figure out why.   Finally when the day was over and we were heading back to the house she said something along the lines of, "too bad I'm not that hot and just some chick you are banging."

She proceeded to ball her eyes out.  I tried to explain to her the whole stepfather/son relationship and to take it into context, but it was way too late.   I broke her heart.  I've never felt so bad in my entire life.  Seriously.  Never felt so bad.  That was exactly one year ago yesterday (Sea Fair was yesterday).   Haven't seen her since...

Your fiance SERIOUSLY needs to get over that entirely innocent comment.  That was NOTHING.

Completely different story, but related...    

I spent three years living with an ex girlfriend of mine (completely different girl... yeah I know... i have some pretty big disasters in my dating life and I'm only 26).    I was playing with some game on her cell phone and did what any other guy would have done... I started checking her text messages.    ...  I found a bunch of text messages between her and some mexican co-worker (who was married) where he was basically saying he wanted her to send nude pictures.  Her response was something like... "haha... if I send you nudes it will not be what you expect... I'll be covering my important areas."  and he responded with "deal."...   I was pretty angry about the thing, but we were able to keep that disaster relationship going for at least another year after that.  Certainly had a long talk with her, but we worked it out...  Lol

Edit:  I have to keep adding to this, because I can relate to it too much.   I guess I had blocked out a lot of these memories.  Now that I think about it, there was another incident with the same girl from above.  About a year prior she was working at a completely different place with a completely different co-worker.   We both used the same computer and would use Trillian to chat.  If you're not familiar with Trillian, it's basically a program that lets you chat on AIM, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ and IRC all at the same time.  Well I didn't realize it at the time, but Trillian keeps logs of every single conversation you've ever had on it (unless you keep the default settings).  So again... I did with probably 80% of the guys on this forum would do... I started reading her chat logs.  I know it was the wrong thing to do  (probably have a bit of jealously and lack of trust as well... but in the interest of honestly I'll admit it was just too intriguing an opportunity to pass up).   So I start reading her AIM conversations and find some conversation with this fellow named Brian that she works with.   At one point she asked him specifics on umm... how well endowed he was.  Again, that one was tougher to bring up, because I felt a little stalker-ish, but still... you gotta take that stuff in context.

This is different though because you sorta under sold your gf which insulted her directly.

The other was just a compliment to some girl online! ONLINE!

Girls are kinda psycho....man.

[shahpound]

Girls are kinda psycho....man.

If they ever turn this thread into a book, you could claim credit for the title.

[LB3533]

Jsaad,

You should be angry at her for invading your privacy.

You should also be angry about the fact that the girl you want to marry doesn't share the same level of love enough to forgive you for such an innocent comment.

[NicaraguanFan]

Jsaad...

I just figured out what your "Comment" was.  

You think that's bad?  That's NOTHING.   Check this out...

I have a nutty stepfather who use to hate me, because we  had nothing in common.  When I was 13, I had low self esteem and was a bit anti-social.   When I would visit my mother in Florida, I would basically hang around, go swimming and play video games.  He didn't understand why I wasn't out chasing chicks, has no interest in girls and didn't like to party.  Seriously, the guy had no respect for me, because I was just a goofy 13 year old.

Flash forward 11 years.   I was having a conversation with my mom on AIM (I live in Seattle and she lives in Florida) and she was asking me about the girl I was dating.  The girl was pretty darn cute and I sent my mom a couple pictures of her.  She then proceeded to freak out about how "gorgeous" the girl was and said, "hold on... I have to show Fred (her husband)".   So suddenly my prick step father is talking to me online and says, "Show me the blonde!".    At this point, I felt like my mom had overhyped the whole thing.  I mean, the girl was a cutie but she wasn't Jessica Alba or something.   So I felt the need to temper his expectations and undersell it.   What would you do in this situation?  Here's what I told him.

"Haha... I mean... she's not that hot.  It's not serious... just some chick I'm banging... haha...  but here is the picture."     I sent him the picture.  He proceeded to give me many "WOAH!  WELL DONE MY MAN!! WELL DONE!!" comments... and I felt great joy in my catch.  Lol...

Guess what?  

You can probably see where this is going...

I left the [dang] AIM chat window open.    I had the girl over that night.  She slept over.   In the morning, I went to make breakfast while she used my computer to surf the net.    We had plans to go boating that day.  She had been excited all week about going boating (since she didn't know anyone with a boat).  It was for Seattle's "SeaFair"... so we were out on the water all day swimming in the lake and watching the blue angels fly over our heads.   She seemed a little distant the entire day and I couldn't figure out why.  She was a little passive aggressive with me and I couldn't figure out why.   Finally when the day was over and we were heading back to the house she said something along the lines of, "too bad I'm not that hot and just some chick you are banging."

She proceeded to ball her eyes out.  I tried to explain to her the whole stepfather/son relationship and to take it into context, but it was way too late.   I broke her heart.  I've never felt so bad in my entire life.  Seriously.  Never felt so bad.  That was exactly one year ago yesterday (Sea Fair was yesterday).   Haven't seen her since...

Your fiance SERIOUSLY needs to get over that entirely innocent comment.  That was NOTHING.

Completely different story, but related...    

I spent three years living with an ex girlfriend of mine (completely different girl... yeah I know... i have some pretty big disasters in my dating life and I'm only 26).    I was playing with some game on her cell phone and did what any other guy would have done... I started checking her text messages.    ...  I found a bunch of text messages between her and some mexican co-worker (who was married) where he was basically saying he wanted her to send nude pictures.  Her response was something like... "haha... if I send you nudes it will not be what you expect... I'll be covering my important areas."  and he responded with "deal."...   I was pretty angry about the thing, but we were able to keep that disaster relationship going for at least another year after that.  Certainly had a long talk with her, but we worked it out...  Lol

Edit:  I have to keep adding to this, because I can relate to it too much.   I guess I had blocked out a lot of these memories.  Now that I think about it, there was another incident with the same girl from above.  About a year prior she was working at a completely different place with a completely different co-worker.   We both used the same computer and would use Trillian to chat.  If you're not familiar with Trillian, it's basically a program that lets you chat on AIM, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ and IRC all at the same time.  Well I didn't realize it at the time, but Trillian keeps logs of every single conversation you've ever had on it (unless you keep the default settings).  So again... I did with probably 80% of the guys on this forum would do... I started reading her chat logs.  I know it was the wrong thing to do  (probably have a bit of jealously and lack of trust as well... but in the interest of honestly I'll admit it was just too intriguing an opportunity to pass up).   So I start reading her AIM conversations and find some conversation with this fellow named Brian that she works with.   At one point she asked him specifics on umm... how well endowed he was.  Again, that one was tougher to bring up, because I felt a little stalker-ish, but still... you gotta take that stuff in context.

This is different though because you sorta under sold your gf which insulted her directly.

The other was just a compliment to some girl online! ONLINE!

Girls are kinda psycho....man.

I wonder what your reaction would be if your girl make a online sexy compliment to another man dude.

[LarBrd33]

Jsaad...

I just figured out what your "Comment" was.  

You think that's bad?  That's NOTHING.   Check this out...

I have a nutty stepfather who use to hate me, because we  had nothing in common.  When I was 13, I had low self esteem and was a bit anti-social.   When I would visit my mother in Florida, I would basically hang around, go swimming and play video games.  He didn't understand why I wasn't out chasing chicks, has no interest in girls and didn't like to party.  Seriously, the guy had no respect for me, because I was just a goofy 13 year old.

Flash forward 11 years.   I was having a conversation with my mom on AIM (I live in Seattle and she lives in Florida) and she was asking me about the girl I was dating.  The girl was pretty darn cute and I sent my mom a couple pictures of her.  She then proceeded to freak out about how "gorgeous" the girl was and said, "hold on... I have to show Fred (her husband)".   So suddenly my prick step father is talking to me online and says, "Show me the blonde!".    At this point, I felt like my mom had overhyped the whole thing.  I mean, the girl was a cutie but she wasn't Jessica Alba or something.   So I felt the need to temper his expectations and undersell it.   What would you do in this situation?  Here's what I told him.

"Haha... I mean... she's not that hot.  It's not serious... just some chick I'm banging... haha...  but here is the picture."     I sent him the picture.  He proceeded to give me many "WOAH!  WELL DONE MY MAN!! WELL DONE!!" comments... and I felt great joy in my catch.  Lol...

Guess what?  

You can probably see where this is going...

I left the [dang] AIM chat window open.    I had the girl over that night.  She slept over.   In the morning, I went to make breakfast while she used my computer to surf the net.    We had plans to go boating that day.  She had been excited all week about going boating (since she didn't know anyone with a boat).  It was for Seattle's "SeaFair"... so we were out on the water all day swimming in the lake and watching the blue angels fly over our heads.   She seemed a little distant the entire day and I couldn't figure out why.  She was a little passive aggressive with me and I couldn't figure out why.   Finally when the day was over and we were heading back to the house she said something along the lines of, "too bad I'm not that hot and just some chick you are banging."

She proceeded to ball her eyes out.  I tried to explain to her the whole stepfather/son relationship and to take it into context, but it was way too late.   I broke her heart.  I've never felt so bad in my entire life.  Seriously.  Never felt so bad.  That was exactly one year ago yesterday (Sea Fair was yesterday).   Haven't seen her since...

Your fiance SERIOUSLY needs to get over that entirely innocent comment.  That was NOTHING.

Completely different story, but related...    

I spent three years living with an ex girlfriend of mine (completely different girl... yeah I know... i have some pretty big disasters in my dating life and I'm only 26).    I was playing with some game on her cell phone and did what any other guy would have done... I started checking her text messages.    ...  I found a bunch of text messages between her and some mexican co-worker (who was married) where he was basically saying he wanted her to send nude pictures.  Her response was something like... "haha... if I send you nudes it will not be what you expect... I'll be covering my important areas."  and he responded with "deal."...   I was pretty angry about the thing, but we were able to keep that disaster relationship going for at least another year after that.  Certainly had a long talk with her, but we worked it out...  Lol

Edit:  I have to keep adding to this, because I can relate to it too much.   I guess I had blocked out a lot of these memories.  Now that I think about it, there was another incident with the same girl from above.  About a year prior she was working at a completely different place with a completely different co-worker.   We both used the same computer and would use Trillian to chat.  If you're not familiar with Trillian, it's basically a program that lets you chat on AIM, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ and IRC all at the same time.  Well I didn't realize it at the time, but Trillian keeps logs of every single conversation you've ever had on it (unless you keep the default settings).  So again... I did with probably 80% of the guys on this forum would do... I started reading her chat logs.  I know it was the wrong thing to do  (probably have a bit of jealously and lack of trust as well... but in the interest of honestly I'll admit it was just too intriguing an opportunity to pass up).   So I start reading her AIM conversations and find some conversation with this fellow named Brian that she works with.   At one point she asked him specifics on umm... how well endowed he was.  Again, that one was tougher to bring up, because I felt a little stalker-ish, but still... you gotta take that stuff in context.

This is different though because you sorta under sold your gf which insulted her directly.

The other was just a compliment to some girl online! ONLINE!

Girls are kinda psycho....man.

I wonder what your reaction would be if your girl make a online sexy compliment to another man dude.

yeah in one instance I under sold her and broke her heart in the process... although that definitely wasn't my intention.  I felt horrible about it and it's one of the worst mistakes I've made.  However, I explained my perspective on it, gave the comment some context, apologized for my mistake and told her how I truly felt about her.  Unfortunately it wasn't enough... so we moved on.  Lesson learned.  I tried.

Point of that is that Jsaad's "comment" doesn't even come close to insulting his girlfriend directly.

IN the other instance, I caught my fiance flirting with a guy via AIM and asking him direct questions about the size of his manhood.... I also caught her considering sending "tasteful" nude pictures to he coworker.   I was irate about these things, but I had to put them into context, speak to her at length about it and work it out.   

Simply telling a chick she has nice boobs doesn't approach anything like that.   If a girl freaks out over a completely innocent comment like that, she needs to take a step back and get a grip on her reality.

[LB3533]

LB,

a/s/l?

[Slugger]

Dude...you say you have removed Myspace from your computer?

Maybe you can download some nads to your pants.

Seriously.

Chances are shes gettin it on with your best friend and has just been waiting for an excuse.

Move on....plenty more fish in the sea.

[JSD]

Jesus LB, you are a force of nature...

Yah.  I got issues. 

but anyways... to jsaad... dump the girl and make me an offer for Yao Ming.  Focus, man, Focus!

Haha, Ming is not on the radar homey.

[JSD]

e banging."

She proceeded to ball her eyes out.  I tried to explain to her the whole stepfather/son relationship and to take it into context, but it was way too late.   I broke her heart.  I've never felt so bad in my entire life.  Seriously.  Never felt so bad.  That was exactly one year ago yesterday (Sea Fair was yesterday).   Haven't seen her since...

Your fiance SERIOUSLY needs to get over that entirely innocent comment.  That was NOTHING.

Completely different story, but related...   

I spent three years living with an ex girlfriend of mine (completely different girl... yeah I know... i have some pretty big disasters in my dating life and I'm only 26).    I was playing with some game on her cell phone and did what any other guy would have done... I started checking her text messages.     ...  I found a bunch of text messages between her and some mexican co-worker (who was married) where he was basically saying he wanted her to send nude pictures.  Her response was something like... "haha... if I send you nudes it will not be what you expect... I'll be covering my important areas."  and he responded with "deal."...   I was pretty angry about the thing, but we were able to keep that disaster relationship going for at least another year after that.  Certainly had a long talk with her, but we worked it out...  Lol

Edit:  I have to keep adding to this, because I can relate to it too much.   I guess I had blocked out a lot of these memories.  Now that I think about it, there was another incident with the same girl from above.  About a year prior she was working at a completely different place with a completely different co-worker.   We both used the same computer and would use Trillian to chat.  If you're not familiar with Trillian, it's basically a program that lets you chat on AIM, MSN, Yahoo, ICQ and IRC all at the same time.  Well I didn't realize it at the time, but Trillian keeps logs of every single conversation you've ever had on it (unless you keep the default settings).  So again... I did with probably 80% of the guys on this forum would do... I started reading her chat logs.  I know it was the wrong thing to do  (probably have a bit of jealously and lack of trust as well... but in the interest of honestly I'll admit it was just too intriguing an opportunity to pass up).   So I start reading her AIM conversations and find some conversation with this fellow named Brian that she works with.   At one point she asked him specifics on umm... how well endowed he was.  Again, that one was tougher to bring up, because I felt a little stalker-ish, but still... you gotta take that stuff in context.

This is different though because you sorta under sold your gf which insulted her directly.

The other was just a compliment to some girl online! ONLINE!

Girls are kinda psycho....man.

I wonder what your reaction would be if your girl make a online sexy compliment to another man dude.

Good question.

1. Guys gives compliment, she compliments back...over. I'm annoyed but not demanding ring back

2. Guys gives compliment, she compliments back, he compliments again but no response...over. I'm less annoyed and not demanding ring back



 

[Bankshot]

Wow, 10 pages worth of advice?  Good work Celticbloggers.

[nickagneta]

Well, the morning brings a new day. Hope today brings you a better day than yesterday Jsaad and maybe, just maybe, you're a bit wiser today than yesterday.

[JSD]

I want to thank the many on here that gave me such good advice.

I took a lot from different posters who have had varying experiences and unique ways of handling their own situation. I was able to hand pick through and customize what matches up best with my situation.

Everyone is different, with some people can be very immature on one hand but “years ahead” when dealing with a different situation. I think that may apply here. I have a wonderful person in my life. Our strengths as a couple far outweigh are weaknesses. I happened to air the biggest controversy in our relationship public on Celticslog because I was nervous. After meeting some of the best and brightest on these pages, this is where I turned for feedback and input like I have so many times before for varies other topics (although usually pertaining to the Celtics/basketball).

I showed an ugly couple pixels of a big beautiful picture…

Yesterday was filled with high emotion and it was the aftermath of the first experience I’ve had really disappointing and hurting the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with. She reacted on pure “This is the end of the world emotion” and in my head I reacted the same way.

I’m a simple person. I work, go to school, exercise and I come home eat dinner and spend time with Ashley. Occasionally I’ll go fishing or mess around with music applications on my computer. I threw her a curveball inside and it hit her on the face. She got upset, had something to say, threatened charge but ultimately took her base.

I went home last night and to my surprise she was there. I comforted and reminded her “I have everything I need physically and emotionally right here.” She began to ease up. Soon the emotion started to whittle to the point that we could actually have a normal conversation. I summarized her fear “I understand why you are upset, your interpretation was by me giving her attention that would lead to conversation as if I was looking for something from her. That’s not the case.” fortunately my track record backed that up. 

Her ring is still on her finger and later on that night she was on the phone with one of her bridesmaids making dress plans…

Although this isn’t 100% over I’d say I’m past the hardest part…

Thanks again for the support guys

I posted this in February shortly after I proposed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooVmJ01D3jo

[SShoreFan 2.0]

whew,

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am exhausted!!

[nickagneta]

Dude, you're definitely marrying up, as the saying goes.

You know, if your girlfriend did her MySpace photo in a bikini it would be....

Nevermind, we've been there and done that already.