I'ma write a story about Celtic Thug, simply because I feel like making fun of him today. Now that's random and off topic.
So, once upon a time in an age where the Celtics were terrabad, lived a man we affectionatley called Celtic Thug. No one knew if he was truly a thug, but he did like Tupac, I suppose that's a start. Now, one day this OG had a legendary idea that would eclipse all other ideas in all of history.
Roughly a week before the 2007 NBA draft lottery, CT was introduced into our lives via RealGM.com (boo) He stated David Stern would not allow the Celtics to have Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, because he's an evil communist that eats children and clowns a like. Using his crystal pistol, Celtic Thug had gazed into the future.
A week later, this prophecy became an alarming and sobering reality for every Celtic fan. We did not recieve either pick, and instead we dropped to the 5th pick. A hell that we simply could not escape. We were destined to be diseased, and forced to draft crappy old Yi Jianlian.
But Nay! There was indeed hope, a glimmering light at the end of the tunnel. For NostraCeltic, our beloved inside source and prophet had promised riches in the offseason. We shall aquire Rashard Lewis in free agency thanks to his friendship with future all-star, Gerald Green!
Surely with the addition of boarderline all-star, Rashard Lewis, an improved Al Jefferson and the return of our Captain, we could make the playoffs. Celtics fans across the globe were filled with much jubilation.
Even more exciting, Kobe Bryant wants out of LA at this point in time, because he plays for the crappy old Lakers. There were whispers and glock shots from Celtic Thug saying Kobe may be headed to Boston. Now we're a contender! The dawn of a new day, and now that small light had become it's own constellation in the night sky. Burning brightly, destined to live for billions of years.
He even predicted Kevin Garnett being traded to the Golden State Warriors, a prediction, based on his previous success would surely come true. This was a blow, as with KG, Kobe, Pierce and Rashard we would most certainly beat any crappy old team in our path of destruction in search of gold.
The only problem is... Celticthug could not spell, and didn't know the english language well. So, more times than not his prophecies simply were not translatable. Who knows of the glorious messages we had missed. We could not allow this to continue any longer.
In time, we developed a key to dicipher these unreadable passages, and we all sipped the wine and popped the champaign.
Until one fateful day, the NBA draft. We had traded for superstar Ray Allen; but this was not in the pages of this ancient book. How could this be possible? Even worse, Rashard wasn't walking through the door, nor was Kobe.
Now the thread is tearing and the fabric of time being unfolded. Just how did this man get his information, if not straight from the players and Danny Ainge?
OOPS! *The remaining part of that paragraph has been lost in an electrical fire.*
Anywhoo, now the off-season's MVA, most valuable aquisition had landed in BOSTON! But, Ryen Gomes didn't predict this, surely he would have known. Now the bolts had failed, and the bridge collapsed. Our prophet had been exposed as a fraud, and sent into exile for a millenia.
Never fret, as we went on to win a championship and we are still in the hunt because we're the greatest franchse, ever. Period.
Moral of the story is, Lon3lytoaster gets extremely bored and has random visions of our departed Celtic Thug.
Topic: Super off topic, off topic thread (Read 1511708 times)