Wife's Christmas Party or C's Game?

[Finkelskyhook]

If you choose the game you might want to give Coach Hobbs a retainer in advance.

[KCattheStripe]

You need to open negotiations

Am I the only one who thinks this comment is hilarious next to a picture of Samuel L. Jackson?

[bdm860]

Seriously though, here’s my opinion:

You’ve been to 3 events already this year, so it doesn’t sound to me like this is anything special.  Your wife is an optometrist at a small office, again nothing special.  If this was a big, one time gathering and your wife was a big time executive, I would say you should go, but to me that doesn’t sound like the case here.  Also I lived in Dallas for a few years, so I know exactly what it’s like to check the calendar the day it comes out for the one game a year the C's come to town and how big of a deal that is.   Plus you already bought tickets.  All that tells me you should go.

BUT I would be there for my wife.  Especially in the 1st year of marriage.  I want her to know I’ll always be there for her, and she comes first.  I think that brings us to 2 situations:

1. Say you’ll go to the party.  Your wife is touched, and all she wants is for you to want to be there for her, so now that you offered to go to the party, she insists you go to the game.  She's happy you offered, you get to go to the game. Win Win.

2.  But since this isn’t a movie or tv show where everything works out perfect and she may not fall for the first option, offer this alternative.  You go to the party, and instead plan a nice weekend get away to Dallas in March.  Three hour drive or like 45 minute flight, spend the weekend, go to the C’s/Mavs game in Dallas on Saturday 3/20.  Assuming you guys are doing ok financially, make it a good excuse to splurge on a nice little get away. Nice hotel room, nice restaurants, nice tickets.  I’ll go to this party, but you go with me to Dallas in March, and we’ll buy the best seats we can, and have a great time in Dallas for the weekend. 

I think option 2 might work out well (if that’s something you can do).  Besides always nice to have your wife owing you one.


Edit - ah I see Nick pretty much already offered up my #2 option.  Beat me to the punch.

Edit #2 - and I also see your wife already offered to take you to Dallas (when I first read it I thought OKC vs Dallas).  Go for that.  I've been in the last row for games, still had a great time.  Also it's likely to be a much better game.  Also never had a problem getting reasonable lower bowl seats in Dallas for big games.

[EJPLAYA]

Been married 23 years, just last week. So my advice is this:

This is her first Christmas party at this job, you've only been married a year and this is this year's biggest get together for her job? If that's the case you HAVE to bite the bullet, sell the tickets or give them away and attend with the wife with a smile on your face the entire time.

It would look bad for the wife to have her new husband ditching the office Christmas party to attend a basketball game. Real bad. And, she won't live it down at the office.

Long happy marriages are all about love, sacrifice and compromise. In this case, sorry guy, but her good standing at work and upkeeping of a good working atmosphere appearance that she is in a good and happy marriage with a wonderful guy willing to give up basketball tickets to see his favorite team to go to a work party with her is more important than your seeing this game.

What I would do is tell her you'll attend but she'll have to make it up to you by going on a weekend trip to either Memphis, New Orleans, Dallas, Indianapolis or Chicago and go watch the Celtics with you there while making it into a romantic weekend vacation.

As is often the case nick is dead on with his advice. I have been married 17 years this week and can promise you not going would be a bad move. If you want to give her ammo that she will use again and again on you until the day you die go ahead and go to the game. Remember, the game will last a few hours but the consequences a lifetime...

[thirstyboots18]

If I were your wife, "We" would be going to the Celtics game"!

However, if this is one of those things that there are 20 more parties between now and Christmas, I would try to negotiate in favor of going to the game.  If this party is important to her, however, Happy Marriage ALWAYS wins over selfish independance.  Have I made you feel guilty enough yet?  (married 41+ years)

[Evantime34]

I'd say go to the game. You and your wife should make up a different reason for why you are late to the party. One that makes you and by extension her sound important. Important business meeting? Helping underprivledged children? Sick Mother? volunteer fire fighter? use your imagination.

[chelsearules]

I'd say go to the game. You and your wife should make up a different reason for why you are late to the party. One that makes you and by extension her sound important. Important business meeting? Helping underprivledged children? Sick Mother? volunteer fire fighter? use your imagination.

then have a player dive into the stands by his seat and get caught in a lie on tv? bad move
go with the wife and tape the game

[Evantime34]

I'd say go to the game. You and your wife should make up a different reason for why you are late to the party. One that makes you and by extension her sound important. Important business meeting? Helping underprivledged children? Sick Mother? volunteer fire fighter? use your imagination.

then have a player dive into the stands by his seat and get caught in a lie on tv? bad move
go with the wife and tape the game

I was trying to be funny, I guess I failed :-(

[yall hate]

I never said that I would attend the xmas party.  I did say that I would come as soon as the game was over though.

It is their office's largest get together.  They are going downtown to take a boat ride on the canal, then going to dinner, and then going to an upscale bowling alley.  In my estimation I will be missing out on the boat ride and dinner, but would be able to show up for some of the bowling portion.

OK, I have no real advice here, because I think it all depends on how understanding your wife is in general.  But this just cracked me up.  Do they have like a dress code at the bowling alley?  I am picturing a bunch of guys in tux's and women in ball gowns (and high heals), sipping champagne as they are bowling.  And it honestly made my day.

I dont know where OP lives, but in NYC they have 'upscale bowling alleys...or at least adult ones.  at night, they have bottle service, dj's, etc...it essentially turns into a night at a club.  and very expensive

[Cman]

This is our first year of marriage. 

the above --> go to Xmas party

I have had the C's game on the calendar since the schedules came out.  She told me about the holiday party last week or the week before.

... but since you planned on this for a long time (and presumably told your wife about this) then I think it is okay to go to the game.

Sounds like you attend a lot of your wife's work parties.  I don't see any harm in missing one of them.

[Brickowski]

Go to the Christmas party, but only if she'll promise to accompany you to the Celtics/OKC game next year and pretend to enjoy it, even if it conflicts with some other social event.

[pengaloo]

From a female perspective... I'd be embarrassed if my spouse was the only one who didn't show up. You need to go to the party.

[nickagneta]

From a female perspective... I'd be embarrassed if my spouse was the only one who didn't show up. You need to go to the party.

See what I mean. The on the job environment that your wife would have to go through would be not so great and because of that, blake, you would never live it down.

Women love gossip, especially at the workplace.

OOhhhhh, the new doctor's husband blew off the Christmas party!! I wonder if there's marital problems? Wow he must be a real __________(fill in the blank with a bad and probably very inaccurate description of yourself).

The looks and whispers start. Your wife feels them and gets aggravated and guess who is going to catch the flack?

Anddddddddddd, you can expect to here these words a lot:

"So, once again you doing something to make you feel better is more important to my needs!"
"So, what excuse are you going to come up with to get out of this party?"
"I hope you don't expect me to go to your parents on New Year's when you couldn't even bother to come to my party."

....
....
....

And so it will go!!

Your decision. Night of fun watching the C's in person. Or year's and year's of having to live it down.

[Michael Anthony]

I'd say go to the game. You and your wife should make up a different reason for why you are late to the party. One that makes you and by extension her sound important. Important business meeting? Helping underprivledged children? Sick Mother? volunteer fire fighter? use your imagination.

then have a player dive into the stands by his seat and get caught in a lie on tv? bad move
go with the wife and tape the game

I was trying to be funny, I guess I failed :-(

You might be on to something - What if the OP was bringing his Little Brother (as in Big Brothers, Big Sisters of America) to the game?

[Eja117]

She did offer to take me to see them play the Mavs, but the seats would probably be pretty lame.  I have a friend who works for the Thunder that will probably be able to get me upgraded to the first few rows.

This is our first year of marriage. 

I have had the C's game on the calendar since the schedules came out.  She told me about the holiday party last week or the week before.

I rarely go to my company parties.

Roy was right about the whole morally and logically things, but I find when it comes to these things women aren't moral or logical (unless you married a Vulcan, but they usually only get married at that one time where they have a very illogical death battle using two sided weapons) and if you don't go the repercussions....just be ready for your mother-in-law to show up and be there for like 2 weeks and make all the food you hate.

You're screwed.

What you do is without crying about it you make it clear you really really wish you didn't have to go to the party but you're going because she wants you to and tell her you'll dress the way she wants too. And get some sort of good Christmas present for her cause it's your first Christmas.

Then cash in those chips later.  I'd start negotiations with "I'll go this time but then I get to go to two games of my choice next year and if the party falls on the same game again I'm going to the game"

But seriously, you're screwed