My girl is very upset with me and I need advice.

[cordobes]

Don't worry, jealousy is the fuel of love, as Ovid explains in his Art of Love. Shakespeare gave it an undeserved bad-press, with that freaking green-monster metaphor. Always go with the classics. Do something like that from times to times and you'll be safe.

By the way, who's that girl whose myspace would be #1 with a picture of her dressed in a bikini? Have you kept the adress? Care to share?

[JSD]

I'm with what Roy said initially about the trust and insecurity stuff. If your partner goes through your stuff, it is a bit audacious to get upset with you about what she finds (spoken from experience).

Of course, it puts you on your heels.

The question I have is this (and it will sound harsh): If you're so happy in your relationship, why would you be making comments like this to anonymous women?

there's some solitary soul searching that needs to be done about this.

At nature I'm a positive, optimistic and complimentary.

I’ve thought about this and searched myself thinking “why would I say that’

My answer: To make her feel good about herself

The question: why do I give a #### how she feels?

Sorry, but I don't buy it. Mentioning a bikini seems clear flirting to increase sexual tension. I find it hard to believe that you weren't doing it for the thrill.

Three years is also a good year past the maximum time that the new relationship intensity and thrill can last. Are you trying to compensate for the lost excitement by flirting with other women?

If so you know me better then I know myself, I would never cheat on her.

 I see your point with the bikini thing though... That is where it was pushed way over the line and it justifies her being this upset.

[guava_wrench]

If she gets fake boobs then u can 100% guarantee she is leaving you the second those puppies are paid off bro

Not true. The implants would be to help her feel better about herself, considering how women know we judge them based on their breasts.

[JSD]

jsaad didn't you post up a video a while back of you proposing to the girl?

at this stage i don't think there's any more advice necessary, i think you've simply learned from your mistake. my approach would have been different, however. her looking through my private stuff would have been first on the agenda, apologizing for what i'd done would have been second.

that said, it was a pretty stupid thing for you to do regardless of whether she sees it or not. as long as there's no back story and it was a genuine one-off then i think an apology should suffice. if there is a back story, you need to re-think things amigo.

No back story.

[Roy Hobbs]

That is where it was pushed way over the line and it justifies her being this upset.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Slow down there.  Don't swallow that particular pill without giving it some thought.

It justifies her being upset, no doubt.  But *this* upset?  To the point of threatening to break off an engagement...  I don't know about that.  And it seems as though you've used her righteous indignation to give her a total pass on snooping through your stuff.

Find a quiet place, and give this one some thought.  Just because you screwed up doesn't mean she's 100% in the right.

[JSD]

I'm fuming...

She just text me saying she's staying at her friends tonight...

[celticmaestro]

I'm fuming...

She just text me saying she's staying at her friends tonight...

you've got a lot more patience than me.

i'd let her know i was emotional about the thing, that i regret what's happened and that i think she's acting like an idiot (no offence). that's me though, not my advice.

No back story.

no problem then (in theory).

[JSD]

Don't worry, jealousy is the fuel of love, as Ovid explains in his Art of Love. Shakespeare gave it an undeserved bad-press, with that freaking green-monster metaphor. Always go with the classics. Do something like that from times to times and you'll be safe.

By the way, who's that girl whose myspace would be #1 with a picture of her dressed in a bikini? Have you kept the adress? Care to share?

Thanks for the old reference.

No, I would never even attempt to look for that especially after this grief.

[Roy Hobbs]

I'm fuming...

She just text me saying she's staying at her friends tonight...

Let her.  It's a power play; she doesn't mean it.

It will give you some time to think.  I'd also recommend this approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_J-lxK8uCY

[wdleehi]

I'm fuming...

She just text me saying she's staying at her friends tonight...

Send flowers. 


Then let her call you back. 

[JSD]

If she gets fake boobs then u can 100% guarantee she is leaving you the second those puppies are paid off bro

Not true. The implants would be to help her feel better about herself, considering how women know we judge them based on their breasts.

Maybe thats the solution? offer to get her implants

[JSD]

That is where it was pushed way over the line and it justifies her being this upset.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Slow down there.  Don't swallow that particular pill without giving it some thought.

It justifies her being upset, no doubt.  But *this* upset?  To the point of threatening to break off an engagement...  I don't know about that.  And it seems as though you've used her righteous indignation to give her a total pass on snooping through your stuff.

Find a quiet place, and give this one some thought.  Just because you screwed up doesn't mean she's 100% in the right.

I don’t think our engagement is in jeopardy I’m just concerned about trust going forward.

[Roy Hobbs]

I'm thinking maybe celticmaestro and I are somehow related.  He's Irish, loved Man Utd, and is exceptionally wise.  He's got to be at least a cousin.

[CelticsWhat35]

I'm fuming...

She just text me saying she's staying at her friends tonight...

I hate text messages so much, especially in this case when it's something bad.  Not only is she staying somewhere else, but she just charged you 20 cents to find it out.  

Seriously though, as stupid as it was to write what you did, if it happened two weeks ago and there were no follow-up emails or anything, she's going overboard by staying somewhere else for the night (I'm assuming you live together).  BTW, have you already given her that two-page letter?  Because if so, and she responds to that with a one line text message, that's pretty weak.

[Bob Day]

Yeah, buy her something. That'll fix everything for sure.