My girl is very upset with me and I need advice.

[ced]

I expect we'll be hearing about you coming out of the closet after a bathroom encounter in a few years...

Yeah, with Jsaad's girlfriend

[guava_wrench]

God I wish it were that simple. Ultra sensitive with this type of stuff.

Like, ultra-sensitive because she's a strong feminist, or ultra-sensitive due to the insecurity stuff?

Insecurity, but not insecurity like "where are you who are you with!?" more like "I've always wanted breast implants" or "do I look like I'm gaining weight?"

If I leave my Cell at home would she go through it?

Probably.

Would she steal my phone to go through it?

No way.

You know, breast implants have been shown to have long term positive effects on a woman's happiness and self-confidence. If she really wants it and she can afford it, why not?

[JSD]

I imagine the worry she might have is whether you would accept advances to a woman in person if you were so willing online. Flirtation is a normal thing, but it is always risky due to possible temptations and offensive to most people in a relationship.

The best comment so far is the one by newdusk. Do you compliment her? Does she look good in a bikini? Is she insecure about her figure and worry that you would cheat on her for a hot bod? Is she correct?

Personally, I do not comment to women about the hotness of their bodies in any arena when in a relationship. If it comes that naturally to you, one thing can easily lead to another.

In the end, there is a problem when your girlfriend feels compelled to search through your messages. Some women who are very insecure assume that their boyfriend is having affairs, no matter how loyal they are. I would again suggest counseling in that situation.

Yes, she looks great in a bikini and I compliment her all the time.

[guava_wrench]

I expect we'll be hearing about you coming out of the closet after a bathroom encounter in a few years...

Yeah, with Jsaad's girlfriend

TP

Nice comeback

[ced]

If she gets fake boobs then u can 100% guarantee she is leaving you the second those puppies are paid off bro

[wdleehi]

Get this back on topic and enough with the personal attacks. 

[JSD]

OK so yes you messed up, but you should be able to get out of this one.  I'm going to get a little deeper on this one and say that the problem isn't Myspace but it is you.  Women tend to think the world is exploding when something small happens. 

Right now she is imagining herself with you for the rest of her life.  And you just showed her that this is your personality and she will have to put up with these kinds of things for the rest of her life.  So removing Myspace doesn't take care of the problem.  You will always be confronted with women flirting with you (in the workplace, on Myspace, on the street, on guys nights out).  It is the way of life.

So you have to prove to her that this was a completely isolated incident that hasn't happened in the past and won't happen in the future.  You can apologize until the cows come home (sorry Oklahoma tendencies showing there), but the apologies mean nothing past the first or second one.  I can almost guarantee that she will look over this slip up, if you prove to her that it is in fact, a slip up and is not your M.O.

Sound input Blake thank you. I like the line "apologies mean nothing past the first or second one." very true.

[ced]

edit - some posters just can't take a hint.

[Reyquila]

Where have you been, Ann Landers? I've missed you so much!

[JSD]

Dear Celticsblog relationship veterans,

I got a compliment from a woman on myspace and responded with a compliment back.

I figured at the time it was a harmless compliment until I forgot to sign out of my myspace page and my girlfriend went into my inbox and Through weeks and weeks of PM's (between friends and colleagues) she finds this exchange that happened a couple of weeks ago and is now crying, disgusted with me and hurting bad.

I don't know what to do... I made no attempt to pursue this individual, I am very happy with the person I'm with and planned on spending the rest of my life with her (where supposed to get married this march). I feel  like our relationship might be broken because she is insecure and needs allot of reassuring. Will my compliments to her ever have the same meaning now?

Has anything like this happened to you? Is it broken?

I know I'm wrong for responding and an idiot for leaving my myspace on the computer.

I'd like to add:

- I'm very embarrassed and don't know who else to talk to about this. so thanks for reading and advising.

- This is the worst thing I've done in our 3 year relationship.

Jssad,

I actually went through the same exact situation.  With some different details and what not.  All you gotta do is just apologize, which i see you did with that two page note, and give her time to get over it.  If she as in love with you as you obviously are with her, she will get over something as small as this.  I can tell you from experience that is what should happen.  I am now married for about 2 months, in a 5 1/2 year relationship.  And i think that same situation happened around 3 years too.  Hope it works out your you man.

And btw, if she for some reason doesn't get over something as small and petty as this, it is kind of childish on her part, especially when she was snooping through your stuff.

Thanks Celts1485,

If feels good to have someone else that has been in my situation and able to get past it.

[Roy Hobbs]

Once, while my girl and I were separated for about a month, her friend caught me at a bar making out with another girl.

Try saying "We were on a break!"...nope. It doesn't work. You might as well say "I was completely wrong and stupid and I was picturing you the whole time!"..that seems to work..sometimes...

Same thing happened to me.  Unfortunately, the girl was insecure, and the incident created permanent trust issues with us (despite us being broken up at the time).  We hung on for a few years after, but honestly, the relationship was over at that point, and I should have ended it a lot earlier.

If somebody really has that little trust, over something that wasn't in fact wrong or in any way a breach of trust, it's a huge, huge warning sign.  Or at least, it was in my life.  I wish I had the past several years back, because the resentment and anger that grew wasn't a healthy thing.

[Rondo2287]

Yo man, just stay off myspace and in general dont say anything on the internet that you dont want to be on the front page of the globe.  You never know where anything you say will wind up.

[ced]

[Deleted.]  You're now banned. -R.H.

[JSD]

There is an old saying:  "They can steal your heart, but they can't steal your eyeballs."  Men never quit looking, and as long as that is all it is, there is no real harm here.  As someone who has been married 30 years, let me tell you that this is a very small issue and if she can't get by this one, you have no hope for a marriage. (By the way, I am a woman and I don't find what you did to be that egregious myself.)

Thanks     

I appreciate a woman's input on this one. 30 years of marriage definitely classifies you as a veteran. Thanks again

[celticmaestro]

jsaad didn't you post up a video a while back of you proposing to the girl?

at this stage i don't think there's any more advice necessary, i think you've simply learned from your mistake. my approach would have been different, however. her looking through my private stuff would have been first on the agenda, apologizing for what i'd done would have been second.

that said, it was a pretty stupid thing for you to do regardless of whether she sees it or not. as long as there's no back story and it was a genuine one-off then i think an apology should suffice. if there is a back story, you need to re-think things amigo.