My girl is very upset with me and I need advice.

[guava_wrench]

wow! really, this question was asked? and people are actually responding? i may come off as a jerk, but this is celtics talk. if i wanted to hear about sob lover quarrels i would go to dr. phil's blog. wait a minute, maybe thats where i am now.....

Isn't the title of this thread clear enough? Don't read it if you aren't interested. I can't image posts like yours would be missed here. Amazing to hear this from someone with less than 20 total posts.

Look at the forum we are in: CelticsBlog > Community.

Btw, the earth doesn't revolve around you and your interests.

[JSD]

I'm with what Roy said initially about the trust and insecurity stuff. If your partner goes through your stuff, it is a bit audacious to get upset with you about what she finds (spoken from experience).

Of course, it puts you on your heels.

The question I have is this (and it will sound harsh): If you're so happy in your relationship, why would you be making comments like this to anonymous women?

there's some solitary soul searching that needs to be done about this.

At nature I'm a positive, optimistic and complimentary.

I’ve thought about this and searched myself thinking “why would I say that’

My answer: To make her feel good about herself

The question: why do I give a #### how she feels?

[CelticsWhat35]

Wow...this thread is PATHETIC.

Jsaad....GROW A PAIR. Seriously...GROW THEM. And 99% of the people giving you advice, grow a pair as well. You all sound like women yourselves.

GOOD LORD

...you're really good friends with your hand, aren't you?

[wdleehi]

Couple of things.  


1) expect to have to really apologize to her for a while.  




2) If she 'gets over it', expect it to be thrown in your face for the next 30+ years whenever you have an argument.  But don't feel bad about that.  If it wasn't this, she would find something else.  (chances are she already has a bank of things you did stored up)

[JSD]

She does need a certain level of trust but if you are complimenting other girls and she is this upset it probably means you don't compliment her enough. Or she could feel like you have been lying to her.. Either way you just have to ride it out and do what you can to make her feel special.
 

That is a concern, I am sincere but will she perceive sincerity? I hope…

[ced]

No actually I'm not. But I'm definitely not as pathetic as you and the rest of the wussies posting on this thread. You really make me sick

[Celts1485]

Dear Celticsblog relationship veterans,

I got a compliment from a woman on myspace and responded with a compliment back.

I figured at the time it was a harmless compliment until I forgot to sign out of my myspace page and my girlfriend went into my inbox and Through weeks and weeks of PM's (between friends and colleagues) she finds this exchange that happened a couple of weeks ago and is now crying, disgusted with me and hurting bad.

I don't know what to do... I made no attempt to pursue this individual, I am very happy with the person I'm with and planned on spending the rest of my life with her (where supposed to get married this march). I feel  like our relationship might be broken because she is insecure and needs allot of reassuring. Will my compliments to her ever have the same meaning now?

Has anything like this happened to you? Is it broken?

I know I'm wrong for responding and an idiot for leaving my myspace on the computer.

I'd like to add:

- I'm very embarrassed and don't know who else to talk to about this. so thanks for reading and advising.

- This is the worst thing I've done in our 3 year relationship.

Jssad,

I actually went through the same exact situation.  With some different details and what not.  All you gotta do is just apologize, which i see you did with that two page note, and give her time to get over it.  If she as in love with you as you obviously are with her, she will get over something as small as this.  I can tell you from experience that is what should happen.  I am now married for about 2 months, in a 5 1/2 year relationship.  And i think that same situation happened around 3 years too.  Hope it works out your you man.

And btw, if she for some reason doesn't get over something as small and petty as this, it is kind of childish on her part, especially when she was snooping through your stuff.

[klg05]

There is an old saying:  "They can steal your heart, but they can't steal your eyeballs."  Men never quit looking, and as long as that is all it is, there is no real harm here.  As someone who has been married 30 years, let me tell you that this is a very small issue and if she can't get by this one, you have no hope for a marriage. (By the way, I am a woman and I don't find what you did to be that egregious myself.)

[guava_wrench]

I'm with what Roy said initially about the trust and insecurity stuff. If your partner goes through your stuff, it is a bit audacious to get upset with you about what she finds (spoken from experience).

Of course, it puts you on your heels.

The question I have is this (and it will sound harsh): If you're so happy in your relationship, why would you be making comments like this to anonymous women?

there's some solitary soul searching that needs to be done about this.

At nature I'm a positive, optimistic and complimentary.

I’ve thought about this and searched myself thinking “why would I say that’

My answer: To make her feel good about herself

The question: why do I give a #### how she feels?

Sorry, but I don't buy it. Mentioning a bikini seems clear flirting to increase sexual tension. I find it hard to believe that you weren't doing it for the thrill.

Three years is also a good year past the maximum time that the new relationship intensity and thrill can last. Are you trying to compensate for the lost excitement by flirting with other women?

[ced]

[Deleted.  Okay, this post crossed a line.  We don't allow personal insults on this blog.  Don't do it again. -R.H.]

[JSD]

God I wish it were that simple. Ultra sensitive with this type of stuff.

Like, ultra-sensitive because she's a strong feminist, or ultra-sensitive due to the insecurity stuff?

Insecurity, but not insecurity like "where are you who are you with!?" more like "I've always wanted breast implants" or "do I look like I'm gaining weight?"

If I leave my Cell at home would she go through it?

Probably.

Would she steal my phone to go through it?

No way.

[guava_wrench]

No actually I'm not. But I'm definitely not as pathetic as you and the rest of the wussies posting on this thread. You really make me sick

I expect we'll be hearing about you coming out of the closet after a bathroom encounter in a few years...

[iowa plowboy]

If you want to act like a little teenybopper and screw around on myspace or facebook you deserve what you get.

Perhaps get a job?

[indeedproceed]

Couple of things. 


1) expect to have to really apologize to her for a while. 




2) If she 'gets over it', expect it to be thrown in your face for the next 30+ years whenever you have an argument.  But don't feel bad about that.  If it wasn't this, she would find something else.  (chances are she already has a bank of things you did stored up)

haha...yup..

Once, while my girl and I were separated for about a month, her friend caught me at a bar making out with another girl.

Try saying "We were on a break!"...nope. It doesn't work. You might as well say "I was completely wrong and stupid and I was picturing you the whole time!"..that seems to work..sometimes...

[wdleehi]

If you want to act like a little teenybopper and screw around on myspace or facebook you deserve what you get.

Perhaps get a job?

That's not right.  I now a lot of people with good paying jobs that work hard that have accounts on those type of sites.