The Ultimate Draft - Congrats Edgar: Team Voted Best Overall

[Redz]

We're #1

[Gainesville Celtic]

The Gainesville Celtics ended up with a pretty darn good, if unconventional basketball team --- with arguably the best PG and best Center to play the game .... always the hardest positions to fill.


PG - Magic Johnson ---- Best PG ever? 3-time NBA MVP, 5 NBA titles. Everyone else on our team will be better with Magic setting them up.


SG - Omar Little --- ever seen "The Wire"? This guy can shoot.


SF - Hawk Girl -- ridiculous vertical leap



PF - Gene Simmons, KISS -- seriously who's gonna challenge this guy for a rebound? It will be their last...


C - Bill Russell -- Best Center ever? 11 NBA titles, 5-time NBA MVP.




Gainesville Celtics Bench:

Homer Simpson -- size off the bench


Galileo Galilei --  Father of Modern Physics will be 2nd only to Tim Duncan in his use of the backboard



Chuck Ragan -- the heart & soul of this or any team

Phillip Seymour Hoffman -- uniform model & designated time-out taker. More weight off the bench.

[Redz]

I'm going to have to insist that Hawk Girl find a sports bra. 
.
Besides that a fine squad of hoopsters GC

[Edgar]

I'm going to have to insist that Hawk Girl find a sports bra. 
.
Besides that a fine squad of hoopsters GC

I didnt  knew dragqueens will end up playing in this mess
now we have two in hawk girl and rodman.

[indeedproceed]

Oh Bill Russell, I just want to tell you all my problems and have you pat me on the back and say "Its ok.", then regale me with a story of hardship and overcoming adversity from your youth.

[Redz]

Oh Bill Russell, I just want to tell you all my problems and have you pat me on the back and say "Its ok.", then regale me with a story of hardship and overcoming adversity from your youth.

Russell is wicked overrated 

[Redz]

Shoot me now.

Just wrote a long post about my team, but CB kicked me out, and I´ve lost my post.

The worst. TP

No sympathy allowed in the ultimate draft 

[Redz]

Team Techmology - Starting Lineup

PG/Coach/General Manager - Alexander the Great.  The greatest field general of all time becomes the greatest floor general.  Has a tremendous head for Xs and Os.  Main weakness: Has been dead for 2000+ years, so conditioning may be a factor.

SG/Owner - Batman.  Phenomenal lateral quickness and an unbeatable wingspan.  Just try and get an entry pass to the post with this guy guarding you.  Second to none in determination and maximizing his potential.  Main weaknesses: may struggle with weekend afternoon games due to erratic evening schedule, and is a bit too enamored with gadget plays.

SF - Brainiac.  Tremendously fast, strong, and of course, intelligent, Brainiac is at his core formless, which really helps his shotblocking.  Of course, he won't really need that because of our center.  Brainiac is literally a walking supercomputer, and so is great at analyzing the strategies and weaknesses of opponents in realtime.  Main weaknesses: Difficulty delegating authority, irrational hatred for Paul Allen.

PF - Kevin Garnett.  Emotional leader of the team, he'll help implement Alexander's defensive schemes on the fly and keep his teammates inspired and in fresh supply of new and exotic strings of curse words.  Main weakness: accidentally headbutting Voltron.

C - Voltron (aka BeastKing GoLion).  Perhaps the most dominant center in the Ultimate League, Voltron stands over three hundred feet tall and can easily straddle the paint area, making three-second violations moot, and scoring almost impossible.  Also impossible to back down in the post without causing him to crush the basket, leading to an immediate stoppage of play.  On offense, he is not only ambidextrous but ambipedal, and can even score with his head.  Main weakness: a sharp blow may cause Voltron to break into his lion components, leading to an instant Too Many Men technical.

On the bench:

6th man: Bruce Lee.  Responsibilities include defensive pestering and punching guys too fast for refs or instant replay to catch. Main weakness: Cerebral edema. (too soon?)

Asst Coach/Asst GM: Grand Admiral Thrawn.  Thrawn is the Tommy Thibs of this crew: primary responsibilities are off the court strategy development, including listening to hours of opponents' crappy rap CDs to gain keen insight into their psyches.  In a pinch can come off the bench to guard the 2 or some smaller 3s.

Equipment Manager: Nikola Tesla.  Mostly responsible for technological innovation, but can stick the 3 when needed.  A little like Steve Kerr if he were a mad scientist from Eastern Europe.

Music: Trent Reznor.  Duties include updating classic arena songs for the 21st century, writing team theme songs, and sweating all over opponents' bench areas to cause them to slip and injure themselves (if you've ever seen him in concert this'll make perfect sense).

Manager/Mascot: Charlie Kelly/Green Man.  Will be responsible for maintaining team morale and being someone for KG to rip on without starting a massive superpowered fight.  Green Man will also serve as the best team mascot in the Ultimate League; however, neither Charlie nor Green Man will not be allowed anywhere near the court or the storeroom where we keep the glue.

Thus far has my vote.  Nicely done!

[Gainesville Celtic]

I'm going to have to insist that Hawk Girl find a sports bra. 
.
Besides that a fine squad of hoopsters GC

I didnt  knew dragqueens will end up playing in this mess
now we have two in hawk girl and rodman.

Drag queen?!? Hawk Girl isn't in drag, she's actually a she....

Team Innovators/Gainesville Celtics isn't afraid to put a woman in our starting lineup... like most teams. She's gonna sky over your SF Edgar, maybe that's why you're trying to slag her

[Edgar]

I'm going to have to insist that Hawk Girl find a sports bra. 
.
Besides that a fine squad of hoopsters GC

I didnt  knew dragqueens will end up playing in this mess
now we have two in hawk girl and rodman.

Drag queen?!? Hawk Girl isn't in drag, she's actually a she....

Team Innovators/Gainesville Celtics isn't afraid to put a woman in our starting lineup... like most teams. She's gonna sky over your SF Edgar, maybe that's why you're trying to slag her

Etrigan >>>>>>>>>>> drag queen.

[Edgar]

Team Techmology - Starting Lineup

PG/Coach/General Manager - Alexander the Great.  The greatest field general of all time becomes the greatest floor general.  Has a tremendous head for Xs and Os.  Main weakness: Has been dead for 2000+ years, so conditioning may be a factor.

SG/Owner - Batman.  Phenomenal lateral quickness and an unbeatable wingspan.  Just try and get an entry pass to the post with this guy guarding you.  Second to none in determination and maximizing his potential.  Main weaknesses: may struggle with weekend afternoon games due to erratic evening schedule, and is a bit too enamored with gadget plays.

SF - Brainiac.  Tremendously fast, strong, and of course, intelligent, Brainiac is at his core formless, which really helps his shotblocking.  Of course, he won't really need that because of our center.  Brainiac is literally a walking supercomputer, and so is great at analyzing the strategies and weaknesses of opponents in realtime.  Main weaknesses: Difficulty delegating authority, irrational hatred for Paul Allen.

PF - Kevin Garnett.  Emotional leader of the team, he'll help implement Alexander's defensive schemes on the fly and keep his teammates inspired and in fresh supply of new and exotic strings of curse words.  Main weakness: accidentally headbutting Voltron.

C - Voltron (aka BeastKing GoLion).  Perhaps the most dominant center in the Ultimate League, Voltron stands over three hundred feet tall and can easily straddle the paint area, making three-second violations moot, and scoring almost impossible.  Also impossible to back down in the post without causing him to crush the basket, leading to an immediate stoppage of play.  On offense, he is not only ambidextrous but ambipedal, and can even score with his head.  Main weakness: a sharp blow may cause Voltron to break into his lion components, leading to an instant Too Many Men technical.

On the bench:

6th man: Bruce Lee.  Responsibilities include defensive pestering and punching guys too fast for refs or instant replay to catch. Main weakness: Cerebral edema. (too soon?)

Asst Coach/Asst GM: Grand Admiral Thrawn.  Thrawn is the Tommy Thibs of this crew: primary responsibilities are off the court strategy development, including listening to hours of opponents' crappy rap CDs to gain keen insight into their psyches.  In a pinch can come off the bench to guard the 2 or some smaller 3s.

Equipment Manager: Nikola Tesla.  Mostly responsible for technological innovation, but can stick the 3 when needed.  A little like Steve Kerr if he were a mad scientist from Eastern Europe.

Music: Trent Reznor.  Duties include updating classic arena songs for the 21st century, writing team theme songs, and sweating all over opponents' bench areas to cause them to slip and injure themselves (if you've ever seen him in concert this'll make perfect sense).

Manager/Mascot: Charlie Kelly/Green Man.  Will be responsible for maintaining team morale and being someone for KG to rip on without starting a massive superpowered fight.  Green Man will also serve as the best team mascot in the Ultimate League; however, neither Charlie nor Green Man will not be allowed anywhere near the court or the storeroom where we keep the glue.

Thus far has my vote.  Nicely done!

Machups

Ramsess II >>>> Alexander the Great

Ozzy Osborne>>>>>>Eats batmans head off the bench


The Brain  >>> Brainiac


Hades is a god, even if garnett is almost there hes not at that level.


Naruto Sage is waaay more skilled in martial arts than Bruce Lee

I think I match up pretty well against this team

[Redz]

Team Techmology - Starting Lineup

PG/Coach/General Manager - Alexander the Great.  The greatest field general of all time becomes the greatest floor general.  Has a tremendous head for Xs and Os.  Main weakness: Has been dead for 2000+ years, so conditioning may be a factor.

SG/Owner - Batman.  Phenomenal lateral quickness and an unbeatable wingspan.  Just try and get an entry pass to the post with this guy guarding you.  Second to none in determination and maximizing his potential.  Main weaknesses: may struggle with weekend afternoon games due to erratic evening schedule, and is a bit too enamored with gadget plays.

SF - Brainiac.  Tremendously fast, strong, and of course, intelligent, Brainiac is at his core formless, which really helps his shotblocking.  Of course, he won't really need that because of our center.  Brainiac is literally a walking supercomputer, and so is great at analyzing the strategies and weaknesses of opponents in realtime.  Main weaknesses: Difficulty delegating authority, irrational hatred for Paul Allen.

PF - Kevin Garnett.  Emotional leader of the team, he'll help implement Alexander's defensive schemes on the fly and keep his teammates inspired and in fresh supply of new and exotic strings of curse words.  Main weakness: accidentally headbutting Voltron.

C - Voltron (aka BeastKing GoLion).  Perhaps the most dominant center in the Ultimate League, Voltron stands over three hundred feet tall and can easily straddle the paint area, making three-second violations moot, and scoring almost impossible.  Also impossible to back down in the post without causing him to crush the basket, leading to an immediate stoppage of play.  On offense, he is not only ambidextrous but ambipedal, and can even score with his head.  Main weakness: a sharp blow may cause Voltron to break into his lion components, leading to an instant Too Many Men technical.

On the bench:

6th man: Bruce Lee.  Responsibilities include defensive pestering and punching guys too fast for refs or instant replay to catch. Main weakness: Cerebral edema. (too soon?)

Asst Coach/Asst GM: Grand Admiral Thrawn.  Thrawn is the Tommy Thibs of this crew: primary responsibilities are off the court strategy development, including listening to hours of opponents' crappy rap CDs to gain keen insight into their psyches.  In a pinch can come off the bench to guard the 2 or some smaller 3s.

Equipment Manager: Nikola Tesla.  Mostly responsible for technological innovation, but can stick the 3 when needed.  A little like Steve Kerr if he were a mad scientist from Eastern Europe.

Music: Trent Reznor.  Duties include updating classic arena songs for the 21st century, writing team theme songs, and sweating all over opponents' bench areas to cause them to slip and injure themselves (if you've ever seen him in concert this'll make perfect sense).

Manager/Mascot: Charlie Kelly/Green Man.  Will be responsible for maintaining team morale and being someone for KG to rip on without starting a massive superpowered fight.  Green Man will also serve as the best team mascot in the Ultimate League; however, neither Charlie nor Green Man will not be allowed anywhere near the court or the storeroom where we keep the glue.

Thus far has my vote.  Nicely done!

Machups

Ramsess II >>>> Alexander the Great

Ozzy Osborne>>>>>>Eats batmans head off the bench


The Brain  >>> Brainiac


Hades is a god, even if garnett is almost there hes not at that level.


Naruto Sage is waaay more skilled in martial arts than Bruce Lee

I think I match up pretty well against this team

I suppose I'm superficial, but he sold the package nicely.

[Roy Hobbs]

Team Techmology - Starting Lineup

PG/Coach/General Manager - Alexander the Great.  The greatest field general of all time becomes the greatest floor general.  Has a tremendous head for Xs and Os.  Main weakness: Has been dead for 2000+ years, so conditioning may be a factor.

SG/Owner - Batman.  Phenomenal lateral quickness and an unbeatable wingspan.  Just try and get an entry pass to the post with this guy guarding you.  Second to none in determination and maximizing his potential.  Main weaknesses: may struggle with weekend afternoon games due to erratic evening schedule, and is a bit too enamored with gadget plays.

SF - Brainiac.  Tremendously fast, strong, and of course, intelligent, Brainiac is at his core formless, which really helps his shotblocking.  Of course, he won't really need that because of our center.  Brainiac is literally a walking supercomputer, and so is great at analyzing the strategies and weaknesses of opponents in realtime.  Main weaknesses: Difficulty delegating authority, irrational hatred for Paul Allen.

PF - Kevin Garnett.  Emotional leader of the team, he'll help implement Alexander's defensive schemes on the fly and keep his teammates inspired and in fresh supply of new and exotic strings of curse words.  Main weakness: accidentally headbutting Voltron.

C - Voltron (aka BeastKing GoLion).  Perhaps the most dominant center in the Ultimate League, Voltron stands over three hundred feet tall and can easily straddle the paint area, making three-second violations moot, and scoring almost impossible.  Also impossible to back down in the post without causing him to crush the basket, leading to an immediate stoppage of play.  On offense, he is not only ambidextrous but ambipedal, and can even score with his head.  Main weakness: a sharp blow may cause Voltron to break into his lion components, leading to an instant Too Many Men technical.

On the bench:

6th man: Bruce Lee.  Responsibilities include defensive pestering and punching guys too fast for refs or instant replay to catch. Main weakness: Cerebral edema. (too soon?)

Asst Coach/Asst GM: Grand Admiral Thrawn.  Thrawn is the Tommy Thibs of this crew: primary responsibilities are off the court strategy development, including listening to hours of opponents' crappy rap CDs to gain keen insight into their psyches.  In a pinch can come off the bench to guard the 2 or some smaller 3s.

Equipment Manager: Nikola Tesla.  Mostly responsible for technological innovation, but can stick the 3 when needed.  A little like Steve Kerr if he were a mad scientist from Eastern Europe.

Music: Trent Reznor.  Duties include updating classic arena songs for the 21st century, writing team theme songs, and sweating all over opponents' bench areas to cause them to slip and injure themselves (if you've ever seen him in concert this'll make perfect sense).

Manager/Mascot: Charlie Kelly/Green Man.  Will be responsible for maintaining team morale and being someone for KG to rip on without starting a massive superpowered fight.  Green Man will also serve as the best team mascot in the Ultimate League; however, neither Charlie nor Green Man will not be allowed anywhere near the court or the storeroom where we keep the glue.

Thus far has my vote.  Nicely done!

Machups

Ramsess II >>>> Alexander the Great

Ozzy Osborne>>>>>>Eats batmans head off the bench


The Brain  >>> Brainiac


Hades is a god, even if garnett is almost there hes not at that level.


Naruto Sage is waaay more skilled in martial arts than Bruce Lee

I think I match up pretty well against this team

I suppose I'm superficial, but he sold the package nicely.

Thanos would simply disintegrate every player on the opposing team, allowing Larry wide open looks at the basket.  (The Dude destroys universes and puts them back together, just for fun.)  I like our chances.

[mgent]

I'm officially putting myself down for the hoops team.
I already made a post about the skills of my players on page 60, but here's a recap:

PG- Taz
SG- Echo
SF- Rogue
PF- Rodman
C- Jean Grey/Phoenix
Coach/Utility- Jesus

Literally unstoppable (except for Rodman).

[Redz]

Skills easily transferable to the hard court