Author Topic: Thread for CBers to debate merits of female CBers wanting to talk to each other  (Read 12999 times)

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Offline saltlover

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A female CBer started a thread over the weekend trying to find out who the other female CBers were, because she assumed (probably correctly) that most posters on here are male.  It didn't take very long for some male posters to hijack that thread (the comment I most remember, which has since been taken down, was "Can we merge this with the online dating thread?"  Really???)

Instead of being a place where female posters could introduce themselves to one another, it has devolved, despite the attempt of moderators, into male posters wondering why female posters would want to know if they're the only XX chromosome on the site.  I think that's unfortunate.  However, I understand that this discussion can in and of itself be enlightening to some people.  So why don't people debate that in this thread, and let female CBers have a little sliver of cyberspace to themselves in that thread?

Here, I'll start from my viewpoint.  In the past, I was in a female dominated work/social environment.  It was very nice, at times, to find the small number of men in this world, since I often felt I couldn't be completely myself in this environment.  I can imagine how female Celticsbloggers, and female sports bloggers in general, might at times feel overwhelmed by the male-dominated world that exists in this culture, even though the internet is technically "anonymous".

Thanks.  Discuss away, and be nice.

MODS: Feel free to delete or move the thread if you find this inappropriate or liable to start a debate you don't want to moderate.

Offline dark_lord

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since this is clearly a shot at me (smh), i will reply:

as i said in the other thread, i could care less what demographic (all...gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, age,location, etc) other posters fall under.  as i stated several times, a poster is a poster (to me). 

theres no real discussion, its how i feel and nothing will change it.  frankly, i like how i take that approach bc it only allows me to judge them on their contributions.

i never asked "why" would females want to identify themselves, rather i just said i dont care what other posters are. 

kinda sad how my words, which were clear and reiterated a few times, are somehow misconstrued or misinterpreted.

oh well :-\

Offline saltlover

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Not only at you, at all.  You weren't the one with the "Can we merge this with the online dating thread" comment, or several other comments that were deleted.

But anyway, regarding what you have said.  That's fine, you can choose to not care about what gender, race, sexual orientation, age, income level, political leaning, etc. other celtics bloggers are.  I rarely care myself.  But if some women want to talk to each other, even if just to say "yes, you're not the only woman on the site", and you're not a woman, why don't you leave the thread alone, if you don't care what gender people are?  There's no reason to post in it at all.

Offline dark_lord

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Not only at you, at all.  You weren't the one with the "Can we merge this with the online dating thread" comment, or several other comments that were deleted.

But anyway, regarding what you have said.  That's fine, you can choose to not care about what gender, race, sexual orientation, age, income level, political leaning, etc. other celtics bloggers are.  I rarely care myself.  But if some women want to talk to each other, even if just to say "yes, you're not the only woman on the site", and you're not a women, why don't you leave the thread alone, if you don't care what gender people are?  There's no reason to post in it at all.

i wanted to post it, so i did.  i didnt say anything negative,  nor did i break any rules.  if anything, i said i accept all posters for their contributions, rather than labeling them.

it is what it is


Offline Enzzo

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since this is clearly a shot at me (smh), i will reply:

as i said in the other thread, i could care less what demographic (all...gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, age,location, etc) other posters fall under.  as i stated several times, a poster is a poster (to me). 

theres no real discussion, its how i feel and nothing will change it.  frankly, i like how i take that approach bc it only allows me to judge them on their contributions.

i never asked "why" would females want to identify themselves, rather i just said i dont care what other posters are. 

kinda sad how my words, which were clear and reiterated a few times, are somehow misconstrued or misinterpreted.

oh well :-\

I get that a poster is a poster to you, and I personally feel the same way. But there was no real reason for you to comment saying who cares. As a male, reading that thread title I thought "Doesn't pertain to me, I hope the OP finds some other female posters to talk to." Then move on.

I get both sides, but I think this whole thing was unnecessary.

As for the females here, I hope you continue to use that thread and get to know each other (as that was what it was made for). Good luck!

Offline saltlover

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Not only at you, at all.  You weren't the one with the "Can we merge this with the online dating thread" comment, or several other comments that were deleted.

But anyway, regarding what you have said.  That's fine, you can choose to not care about what gender, race, sexual orientation, age, income level, political leaning, etc. other celtics bloggers are.  I rarely care myself.  But if some women want to talk to each other, even if just to say "yes, you're not the only woman on the site", and you're not a women, why don't you leave the thread alone, if you don't care what gender people are?  There's no reason to post in it at all.

i wanted to post it, so i did.  i didnt say anything negative,  nor did i break any rules.  if anything, i said i accept all posters for their contributions, rather than labeling them.

it is what it is

"What it is" is unnecessary, at best, and chauvinist at worst.  It's that type of attitude that turns people off from participating, and does nothing to build community.

Offline PhoSita

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as i said in the other thread, i could care less what demographic (all...gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, age,location, etc) other posters fall under.  as i stated several times, a poster is a poster (to me).

I get this.  It's a totally understandable position. 

However, it's worth pointing out that typically this type of position (wanting to remain agnostic to innate characteristics that separate people into minority groups) tends to come from a place of privilege.  Basically, it's easy to say "I don't care what gender / race / etc that people are" if you are part of the dominant group, because every discussion tends to boil down to the frame of reference of the greatest common denominator. 

It may not really be possible for people who aren't part of the dominant group (in this case, women) to just "ignore" the differences.  That's why you get a thread where people are looking for other people like them.
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Offline dark_lord

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But there was no real reason for you to chime in saying who cares. As a male, reading that thread title I thought "Doesn't pertain to me, I hope the OP finds some other female posters to talk to." Then move on.

I get both sides, but I think this whole thing was unnecessary.

i am not u...u chose to move on, i felt the need to give my opinion and say i dont care what people are.

yes, this is all unnecessary.

Offline Boris Badenov

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Dark_lord, you mentioned location specifically. If a bunch of people were talking about which CBers lived in Florida, possibly to share some of their common experiences being from that area, would you jump in and state that you don't care where a CBer is from?

I mean, why would you think that anyone would care about that? And do you think some people might just view it as an unnecessary interruption?

I'm not trying to pile on, because like others have said, the thread was derailed long before you posted anything.

I don't think this thing is a big deal, but I would suspect that many of the women in that thread felt pretty annoyed that they couldn't just talk amongst themselves. You can see this both in the comments that are still there, and some (that you probably missed) that were posted then deleted.

Offline Fafnir

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Phosita said it pretty well.

If someone chooses to share a larger part of their identity, it sucks when its diminished. Even worse when jokes are immediately cracked about it.

One of the dangers of sharing online anything personal or your identity when its not part of the dominant group.

I attach a male adult voice to almost every poster by default. That's my own internal framing, because it matches my own naturally. People usually dislike it when their framing is disrupted.

Offline dark_lord

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anyone wants to discuss this with me, send me a pm. this is ridiculous that it has got to this and people are piling on me.

Offline saltlover

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anyone wants to discuss this with me, send me a pm. this is ridiculous that it has got to this and people are piling on me.

I wouldn't call this piling on, as there've been hardly any posts, and most were written simultaneously.  We'll see if others who hijacked that thread come in here. But in the meanwhile rememebr this feeling, as it's what it feels like to be in the minority.  Now imagine that feeling every day, and you'll begin to understand why some female CBers might want to talk to each other without getting interrupted.

Offline dark_lord

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anyone wants to discuss this with me, send me a pm. this is ridiculous that it has got to this and people are piling on me.
We'll see if others who hijacked that thread come in here. But in the meanwhile rememebr this feeling, as it's what it feels like to be in the minority.  Now imagine that feeling every day, and you'll begin to understand why some female CBers might want to talk to each other without getting interrupted.

"other who hijacked the thread".....first, do not include me, as i didnt hijack anything. 

"remember this feeling"???? really....lol. i only said to pm me so i dont flood the thread, theres no "feeling" im experiencing


Offline danglertx

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Wow, when I first saw that thread I was annoyed because it was taking up a spot on the latest forum topics area and a thread I had no interest in, like all of the fantasy league crap threads or whatever those are.  Now I'm kicking myself for not getting in on the drama.

It just never occurred to me to open a thread that said female posters looking for other female posters.  I question why a male would ever even bother looking at the thread.

Offline fairweatherfan

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