"PAY IT FORWARD"

[Bahku]

I thought this would be the perfect time-of-year to create this thread, as a way for people to come up with ideas for making this world a little better ... if only in small ways: I challenge the great minds of CB, (and this blog is crammed with intelligent posters ... don't deny it!), to come up with ways for doing small things for strangers to make their day a little brighter ... in the hope of them repeating the gesture. It would also be cool to have people report back as to what other's reactions were, or how it impacted themselves.

*NOTE: THIS IS A TP-FREE ZONE*  - No TP's given out or received here, as that would somewhat defeat the purpose and "spirit" of the thread.

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I'll start it out with something I've gotten in the habit of doing over the years. (I have to give credit for the idea of this thread to a video posted by Amonkey about the meaning of Christmas.)


Just a suggestion: Whenever I go through the tollbooth on the highway, I pay the toll for the car behind me ... usually there's no way for that person to know who did it, so it's completely anonymous, (epsecially on the Maine Turnpike, where it's not as busy as Boston, etc.), and it doesn't cost much. I started doing this when my kids were small, to teach them about consideration for those we don't know.

To be honest, I did it as a one-time thing, but from then on they made me keep doing it, and it's now a habit for all of us, and kind of a family thing. It's a very cool way to initiate a small "pay-it-forward" message. Not everyone will copy the favor, but it's still a great way to spread the Christmas spirit ... all year long. 

By the way ... have a very Merry Christmas and happy and prosperous New Year!   

[Kiorrik]

We don't have Santa in Holland, but we do have Sinterklaas.

Sinterklaas happens to give out enormous amounts of candy. The most often given type of candy is chocolate, in the shape of the first letter of a persons name. So I'd get a D (Dirk) for example.

Last time I payed it forward, was before the 5th of December, when I chucked a bunch of those letters into the mailboxes of some of my friends, without a note or anything. I love the fact that they have no clue who did it and I would've loved to have seen their faces when they unwrapped their presents.

[Kiorrik]

Btw, other than that, there's craploads of stuff that I do because I feel like being kind. Unfortunately, most of them don't count because I do them personally, or under my name. I'll start asking people to pay it forward from now on though. Not a bad idea.

Oh, I got another one that comes close:

I worked for Greenpeace (don't ask ) some time ago. I was out on the street, informing people of what we do and asking them for a contribution (I know you guys hate me :p)

At some point, that day, I ran out of chewing gum. I'm a huge fan of the stuff, and I knew that I'd want some sooner or later. A few minutes later a bum came up to me, a really old man, asking for some loose change so he could go get food.

I gave the guy more than a bit of change, and asked him to go buy me some chewing gum. I explained to him which type, and told him he could keep the change. I didn't expect him to return at all, especially since it took him a long time. However, right before I was going to go and have a break and buy some food & some gum, he appeared, with a big smile on his face and a pack of gum in his hand. It wasn't the right one, but it was close. He told me they didn't have the type anywhere nearby and he went and searched an other shopping mall for it.

Not only was he allowed to keep the change, but me and my colleagues took him to McDonalds for a meal and listened to some of his stories before going back to work.

[nickagneta]

For me, paying it forward means to be helping others that need help. I understand the concept the movie and some very famous television commercials attempted to promote but for me, I think it wiser to use my energy in making the world a better place by helping those that need it.

In that vein, I volunteer at a soup kitchen a few times in year, I donate clothing constantly, especially older coats during coat drives before the winter. I also make contribution to several charitable endeavors and once a year volunteer my time at a support group for parents with children with cancer as I have been through that and can help those that sometimes have a very difficult time during those most difficult of experiences.

I do these things because I feel that I have been through them and that it is the right and humane thing to do. I try to be polite and gentlemanly saying thank you and opening doors and letting other cars go before me on the road. But a lot of the littler things, like stuff Bahku, god bless his soul, does and talked about, I don't do because I just feel there are way too many selfish, arrogant mean spirited people in the world and I would hate by chance to help one of them.

I hope that's not against the spirit of this thread. I just feel there are definitely people in the world that need and deserve my help, and others that don't and I don't want to help those people, even by chance.

[oldmanspeaks]

A lot of doing good things is simply paying attention to what people need. My neighbors both work and I do a lot of cooking. And it is easy for me to make a large pot of chili as it is to make a small pot. So I take over some and it gives them a break to do something else (like deal with the kids-laugh).
I always have jumper cables in my truck and have bailed out a number of people. Not every old lady or young girl knows what to do (and a few guys are clueless too) when the car stops in the middle of traffic.
I have mentored countless kids on the basketball court. No rah-rah or trash talk or Bobby Knight lectures. Just show them the little techniques that make them much better players and to appreciate the game.
I have given things to various women's shelters as I downsize my home because they do hand's on help.
The point is that we all have skills or something to offer. You just have to pay attention to who needs what you have to offer.

[Roy Hobbs]

I saw this story in my locale.  I'm sure there are similar stories nation wide:

Two anonymous patrons at a Philadelphia diner poignantly remind us to keep our priorities in check this holiday season.

On Saturday morning, a couple walked into the Aramingo Diner, paid for their meal, and then quietly requested to pay the tab for another table of diners. That simple act of generosity set off a chain reaction of giving, prompting customers to pay for one another's meals for hours.

"It was magical. I had tears in my eyes because it never happened before. I've been here for 10 years, and I've never seen anything like that," Lynn Willard, a waitress at the restaurant, told NBCPhiladelphia.

"I could not believe it. And it continued and continued — it was very nice," Willard also said. "They asked us not to say anything until they left, say, 'Merry Christmas, that person picked up your check.'"

Their sweet act set off five hours of holiday magic, as customers continually paid for one another. The diner's manager said not one person balked at the price of another's check, which ranged between $12 and $30.

"It was a surprise to all of us; the girls were even taken aback," said the diner's manager. "Those who took the check also tipped the waitress. So nobody had to do anything other than pass it on, and that's what they did. They just passed it forward."

So thank you to those two humble diners who remind us all of the true spirit of the season.

[Bahku]

I saw this story in my locale.  I'm sure there are similar stories nation wide:

Two anonymous patrons at a Philadelphia diner poignantly remind us to keep our priorities in check this holiday season.

On Saturday morning, a couple walked into the Aramingo Diner, paid for their meal, and then quietly requested to pay the tab for another table of diners. That simple act of generosity set off a chain reaction of giving, prompting customers to pay for one another's meals for hours.

"It was magical. I had tears in my eyes because it never happened before. I've been here for 10 years, and I've never seen anything like that," Lynn Willard, a waitress at the restaurant, told NBCPhiladelphia.

"I could not believe it. And it continued and continued — it was very nice," Willard also said. "They asked us not to say anything until they left, say, 'Merry Christmas, that person picked up your check.'"

Their sweet act set off five hours of holiday magic, as customers continually paid for one another. The diner's manager said not one person balked at the price of another's check, which ranged between $12 and $30.

"It was a surprise to all of us; the girls were even taken aback," said the diner's manager. "Those who took the check also tipped the waitress. So nobody had to do anything other than pass it on, and that's what they did. They just passed it forward."

So thank you to those two humble diners who remind us all of the true spirit of the season.

This is a great story, and that's the thing ... sometimes it just takes one person to get the ball rolling, and then it takes off. I've wondered at times if the person behind me at the tollbooth repeated the gesture, or if it started a chain reaction ... it would be cool to find out, but maybe some day it will come back around, and I'll know then it was successful.    

[Bahku]

Btw, other than that, there's craploads of stuff that I do because I feel like being kind. Unfortunately, most of them don't count because I do them personally, or under my name. I'll start asking people to pay it forward from now on though. Not a bad idea.

Oh, I got another one that comes close:

I worked for Greenpeace (don't ask ) some time ago. I was out on the street, informing people of what we do and asking them for a contribution (I know you guys hate me :p)

At some point, that day, I ran out of chewing gum. I'm a huge fan of the stuff, and I knew that I'd want some sooner or later. A few minutes later a bum came up to me, a really old man, asking for some loose change so he could go get food.

I gave the guy more than a bit of change, and asked him to go buy me some chewing gum. I explained to him which type, and told him he could keep the change. I didn't expect him to return at all, especially since it took him a long time. However, right before I was going to go and have a break and buy some food & some gum, he appeared, with a big smile on his face and a pack of gum in his hand. It wasn't the right one, but it was close. He told me they didn't have the type anywhere nearby and he went and searched an other shopping mall for it.

Not only was he allowed to keep the change, but me and my colleagues took him to McDonalds for a meal and listened to some of his stories before going back to work.

Great story, K ... sometimes people surprise you ... you didn't expect him to come back, but he did, and then more people got on board, and you never know, it may have changed his life. I know it's a hard thought sometimes to give or do for strangers, because maybe that stranger is a murderer or crook, but the majority of people are good, and I think it's worth the risk. Not only that, but maybe that simple gesture of goodwill and kindness is the one thing that starts to turn their life around ... you just never know. Thanks for sharing, K.

[Bahku]

For me, paying it forward means to be helping others that need help. I understand the concept the movie and some very famous television commercials attempted to promote but for me, I think it wiser to use my energy in making the world a better place by helping those that need it.

In that vein, I volunteer at a soup kitchen a few times in year, I donate clothing constantly, especially older coats during coat drives before the winter. I also make contribution to several charitable endeavors and once a year volunteer my time at a support group for parents with children with cancer as I have been through that and can help those that sometimes have a very difficult time during those most difficult of experiences.

I do these things because I feel that I have been through them and that it is the right and humane thing to do. I try to be polite and gentlemanly saying thank you and opening doors and letting other cars go before me on the road. But a lot of the littler things, like stuff Bahku, god bless his soul, does and talked about, I don't do because I just feel there are way too many selfish, arrogant mean spirited people in the world and I would hate by chance to help one of them.

I hope that's not against the spirit of this thread. I just feel there are definitely people in the world that need and deserve my help, and others that don't and I don't want to help those people, even by chance.

In no way does this ruin the spirit of the thread, Nick, and thanks for sharing. We can never do too many things for others or be too thoughtful ... there is so much need in this world, one thing it will never be short of, I'm afraid. But there are also many good people on this earth like yourself ... guess I'm just hoping we can ignite some more "lukewarms" into be more actively helpful. Thanks for sharing as well, Bud.

[Amonkey]

Haha!  Good stuff Bahku.  Something that I have done over the last couple of months is leave Sports Illustrated around for people.  Let me explain.  For some reason, I have been receiving the magazine Sports Illustrated in my house under my brother's name, even though he has TWICE canceled the subscription and he doesn't get billed for them.  So I receive these free magazines and I read them over the car.  Once I am done (usually a few days after I receive it) I have been trying to make a habit to giving it to random people because there's no reason for me to keep it in my car anyway.

Sometimes I go to the beach to call my girlie (who lives in another country) so sometimes I would leave the magazine on the trash handle so the dumpster people finds it.  Other times I just leave at a BK or Wendy's table.  I have given to a couple of officers also (who always gives me a weird look when they see me coming over, until they realize that I am giving them something).

Also, the reason my girlfriend lives away is because she is a Peace Corps volunteer in Guatemala.  I try to help her out sometimes by saving up some of the things that the kids there need send it over.  I remember when I was young when my parents used to do a project with some poor kids in my grandfather's church in Brazil that was pretty cool.

My suggestion though is just do the little things.  Make sure you smile for the people around you.  Open the door for people.  Let a car pull in front of you.  Help carry a senior's bag.  Those things usually leaves a good feeling in people's minds.

[Kiorrik]

Meh, people should always do the tiny things. Hold the doors, let others pass first, be kind to everyone, etc. It's weird that these things are no longer normal

[Amonkey]

Meh, people should always do the tiny things. Hold the doors, let others pass first, be kind to everyone, etc. It's weird that these things are no longer normal

But sometimes you need to remind people that.

[Kiorrik]

Good point. Unfortunately we seem to have to

[Bahku]

I thought this would be the perfect time-of-year to create this thread, as a way for people to come up with ideas for making this world a little better ... if only in small ways: I challenge the great minds of CB, (and this blog is crammed with intelligent posters ... don't deny it!), to come up with ways for doing small things for strangers to make their day a little brighter ... in the hope of them repeating the gesture. It would also be cool to have people report back as to what other's reactions were, or how it impacted themselves.

*NOTE: THIS IS A TP-FREE ZONE*  - No TP's given out or received here, as that would somewhat defeat the purpose and "spirit" of the thread.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'll start it out with something I've gotten in the habit of doing over the years. (I have to give credit for the idea of this thread to a video posted by Amonkey about the meaning of Christmas.)


Just a suggestion: Whenever I go through the tollbooth on the highway, I pay the toll for the car behind me ... usually there's no way for that person to know who did it, so it's completely anonymous, (epsecially on the Maine Turnpike, where it's not as busy as Boston, etc.), and it doesn't cost much. I started doing this when my kids were small, to teach them about consideration for those we don't know.

To be honest, I did it as a one-time thing, but from then on they made me keep doing it, and it's now a habit for all of us, and kind of a family thing. It's a very cool way to initiate a small "pay-it-forward" message. Not everyone will copy the favor, but it's still a great way to spread the Christmas spirit ... all year long. 

By the way ... have a very Merry Christmas and happy and prosperous New Year!   

OK, well I'm going to mention just a couple more I thought of ...

1 ) Pay for the toll of not only yourself, but the car behind you, and tell the tollbooth operator to ask them to "pay it forward". (I know I already said this, but I wanted it on this list to reiterate

2 ) Leave an extra tip for a good waitress/waiter, (beyond 20%), and leave a note on a napkin asking them to do something similar for someone else, and "pay it forward"

3 ) If you're at a Celtics game and your in line waiting to buy a beer or other drink, offer to buy a beer for the guy/girl behind you, and ask them to pay it forward

4 ) Do the same thing at the movies when in line for popcorn/candy/whatever ... or even pay for a strangers ticket, and tell them to pay it forward

5 ) Buy a dozen roses, (or other flowers), the next time you're going to the grocery store or mall shopping, and hand them out randomly to others, wishing them a good day, (and PIF, of course)

6 ) If you're at the movie rental store, offer to pay for a movie rental for a stranger, or some candy to watch the movie with, and say "Pay it forward"

7 ) Carry some packaged dog treats around with you, (like smal packs of Pup-er-roni or Beggin' Strips), and when you see someone walking their dog, hand them a package. (People LOVE their pets, and this could be a home-run).

8 ) Get some McDonald's or Burger King gift certificates, (they come in small denominations), and hand them out to people who may be homeless or destitute ... or just look hungry. We take it for granted, but you'd be amazed at how good a Micky D's cheeseburger looks when you haven't eaten all day.

Try one or two of these just once and see what happens ... the best thing is the feeling you get inside ... it may be that your bringing a blessing to someone else's life, but the biggest blessing is yours, and how it warms your heart to do for others. You never know, it may start a chain reaction, but even if it doesn't, you've made your day brighter ... and someone else's. I'm going to try my best to do the things on this list and report back the results, if I notice any. If I come up with more ideas, I'll list them ... wish you folks would, too!

[Bahku]

Haha!  Good stuff Bahku.  Something that I have done over the last couple of months is leave Sports Illustrated around for people.  Let me explain.  For some reason, I have been receiving the magazine Sports Illustrated in my house under my brother's name, even though he has TWICE canceled the subscription and he doesn't get billed for them.  So I receive these free magazines and I read them over the car.  Once I am done (usually a few days after I receive it) I have been trying to make a habit to giving it to random people because there's no reason for me to keep it in my car anyway.

Sometimes I go to the beach to call my girlie (who lives in another country) so sometimes I would leave the magazine on the trash handle so the dumpster people finds it.  Other times I just leave at a BK or Wendy's table.  I have given to a couple of officers also (who always gives me a weird look when they see me coming over, until they realize that I am giving them something).

Also, the reason my girlfriend lives away is because she is a Peace Corps volunteer in Guatemala.  I try to help her out sometimes by saving up some of the things that the kids there need send it over.  I remember when I was young when my parents used to do a project with some poor kids in my grandfather's church in Brazil that was pretty cool.

My suggestion though is just do the little things.  Make sure you smile for the people around you.  Open the door for people.  Let a car pull in front of you.  Help carry a senior's bag.  Those things usually leaves a good feeling in people's minds.

Awesome stuff, Amonkey ... thanks for adding! I was raised to do those kinds of things, too, and it amazes me how surprised some people are today, because it's no longer common practice. But sometimes all it takes is setting an example, and it catches fire.