Author Topic: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)  (Read 26846 times)

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Re: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)
« Reply #75 on: July 26, 2013, 07:13:41 PM »

Offline Bahku

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Follow your heart, man, cuz nobody knows the situation better than you ... and never, ever take love advice from a sports blog. ;)
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Re: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)
« Reply #76 on: July 26, 2013, 07:37:40 PM »

Offline The Rondo Show

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Follow your heart, man, cuz nobody knows the situation better than you ... and never, ever take love advice from a sports blog. ;)

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Re: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)
« Reply #77 on: July 26, 2013, 08:32:09 PM »

Offline Chris

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Sorry to hear about your situation OP, that's a tough one. I would advise you to be persistent. Go all out courting if you really think she's worth it. But after a little while give her the option of being with you or giving you time to heal and move on. Nothing in between.

I respectfully disagree.  I think going all out is a bad move and could only end up hurting him if she continually rejects his advances.  By the fact she is up and leaving immediately from the place they shared, she is severing ties cold turkey.  Plus if he is going all out to get her, she may think he is being a "creeper".  Just let nature take its course.  He can't be looking desperate and pitiful.  From my experiences, whenever a break up occurred, the girl didn't like when I was going all out, sent her a gift package, flowers or a letter or text messages.  They told me to leave them alone.  I know it hurts but it's just how it is in many cases.

Yeah, I hear what you are saying, but I think your approach is more focused on the "I want to see what's out there" while my approach also recognizes the positive signs:

- Very nice to OP in front of friends "She definitely loves you"
- Cold feet

Maybe she just needs the reassurance that OP is in it for the long haul? I think my approach kind of covers both possibilities. Go hard 'grand finale' style then cut ties and move on if it is an epic fail. What's there to lose at this point? OP is in love. GO hard for it!

True story. 

I guess it depends on how one views the situation.  I think everyone reacts differently to any situation in life.  All we have to offer him for advice is our own personal experiences that pertain to this particular situation.  Some of us are telling him to leave her be and others are saying give it a shot, try to be friends, whatever.  All of our responses are based on our own personal experiences.  Ultimately, he will do whatever he wants to do and that's all it really boils down to.

Exactly. It all about the trial and error of our own personal experiences. For me, if I didn't go hard for the cold young woman at that college party who wouldn't give me the time of day, who knows where I would be today? Persistence, wearing my heart of my sleeve and all out courting paid off for me. Granted, it was a different situation, but I feel like my lady was in the reluctant "Is he for real" category at the beginning.

This sounds like you had a very different situation.  You are talking about a girl being cold at first, and you chased her.  That's fine (depending on the girl).  But it is very different than having been with the girl for months, and her deciding she wants to leave.  When a girl hits that point, the last thing she needs is reassurance.  She needs space.  She also needs to feel like she can't just get the emotional support, without being together.

If she feels like she can treat him however she likes, and he will still be there for her, then not only will she walk all over him, but she will lose respect for him, and never  be attracted to him again.

Re: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)
« Reply #78 on: July 26, 2013, 08:32:20 PM »

Offline LooseCannon

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Maybe she "loves" you but she's not physically "into" you.
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Re: I don't get it man.. what happened? (Ex girlfriend story)
« Reply #79 on: July 29, 2013, 08:56:19 AM »

Offline Monkhouse

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I found out the truth.

A co-worker who I thought was my friend, came over to our house after we were drinking. We began to drink some more, and my girlfriend began to profusely get more and more drunker. Drunk to a point where I know she's in that 'state.' She can't think correctly, makes dumb decisions, and doesn't even know what is going on half the time.

I had to go to sleep, cause I had work like 4 hours later. And my roommate who I trust with my life had work in 7 hours so we both went to sleep early. She wanted to stay up, and try to watch some shows with my co-worker. I trusted the both of them, so I fell asleep. I find that she isn't here anymore at my bedside, and then when I had posted this. She had given me the call saying we should break it off, etc.

---

This #%!@#% had taken advantage of my girlfriend. They both decided to take a walk, and get some water and Gatorade from this 24/7 walmart. As he begins to drop her off, he starts rubbing her legs and thigh. At first shes too drunk, she asked him, "am I dreaming?" Then he forces his lips on her, and a few seconds into it. She realizes it isn't a dream, and tries to fight her way out of it. He tries to take off her clothes, but she bites his wrist really hard to a point it begins to bleed. And she threatens him saying, "if you try to rape me. I promise you'll live to regret for the rest of your life."

Then he snaps back to reality, and says that she's right.

---

Its amazing how much of a snake some people can be nowadays.

We hung and was cool/close with this guy. I have trust issues, and this only solidified my belief in that. You can never ever trust nobody, or anybody for the matter of fact. You just can't. Trust is hard to earn once it is lost.

I was pretty upset at my girlfriend, not for breaking my trust by refusing to come to bed with me. But the fact she told me she really did want it, until she realized that she wouldn't ever be with me after this.

She didn't exactly cheat on me, but her being very vulnerable when drunk was a factor in it. And she says she didn't want to tell me, cause she felt so guilty/dirty. I already made my decision on what I'll do with her.

And now it just blows my mind. I would've never expected it from this guy.

---

In closing, I'd like to say I appreciate all your comments, and suggestions.

This really does feel like a family, because you guys don't judge or call me names. Or make me feel like crap for being depressed.

I'm glad to be at this forum, and its my pleasure to share my problems with you guys.

Thank you.

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