Favorite Hip Hop Punchline?

[JSD]

Eminem's gotta be the king. (of punchlines and rap)

One of why favorite Em lines:

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

Em just flat out kills it here too:

Now who's the king of these rude ludicrous lucrative lyrics
Who could inherit the title, put the youth in hysterics
Using his music to steer it, sharin his views and his merits
But there's a huge interference - they're sayin you shouldn't hear it
Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit
Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish
But I'm debated disputed hated and viewed in America
as a mother****in drug addict - like you didn't experiment?

That's good, but to me it isn't a punchline. That's why when you guys say Eminem is the king of punchlines, I don't get it. Eminem is a great rapper, but he's more of a story-teller, and he brings a part of America (white, poor) to light in rap music that nobody has been able to do as well as he did before he showed up or since. But his punchlines aren't what grabs me.

You're right, the last thing I posted wasn't a great punchline example, but I would argue Em is one of the best when it comes to wordplay and punchlines.

[KCattheStripe]

Think you gangsta/popped a few rounds/ these kids'll come through and murder a whole town.- Lupe.

[shiggins]

"Worry, I’m not Mike Jordan, of the mic recordin’
Hovi, baby, you Kobe, maybe Tracy McGrady
Matter fact, you Harold Miner, J.R. Rider, washed up on marijuana
Even worse you a Pervis Ellis, you worthless, fella
You ain’t no athlete, you Shawn Bradley"

- H.O.V.



"I got the hardest bars, call me the warden
Excuse me pardon, but
I knock a B**** down like Tonya Harding"

- Weezy


"The best come to those who wait, like Heinz, they be ketchup and spoil your cake"

-Noreaga



(Just kidding about the last one )

[crownsy]

"Makin choices, that determine my future under the sky
To rob steal or kill, I'm wondering why
It's a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?
Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

-Nas

"Hip Hop will simply amaze you
Praise you, pay you
Do whatever you say do
But black, it can't save you"

- Mos Def

[indeedproceed]

"Makin choices, that determine my future under the sky
To rob steal or kill, I'm wondering why
It's a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?
Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

-Nas

"Hip Hop will simply amaze you
Praise you, pay you
Do whatever you say do
But black, it can't save you"

- Mos Def

Those are both great lyrics, but neither is a punchline. Both great lyrics from all-time great MC's.

[crownsy]

"Makin choices, that determine my future under the sky
To rob steal or kill, I'm wondering why
It's a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?
Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

-Nas

"Hip Hop will simply amaze you
Praise you, pay you
Do whatever you say do
But black, it can't save you"

- Mos Def

Those are both great lyrics, but neither is a punchline. Both great lyrics from all-time great MC's.

Being serious here, im confused. isn't:

Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

a punch line?

What's the definition, i thought it was just a sick end to a verse, which both those seem to be.

[shookones99]

...Everybody needs to check out Big L - Da Graveyard if they want to hear the best wordplay and punchlines ever. The launguage is way too much for me to put on here, I'd probably get banned from CelticsBlog, but check it out... Big L, Lord Finesse, Microphone Nut, Jay-Z, Party Arty, Y.U. The whole song is just rap greatness... same with the 7 minute freestyle by Big L and Jay-Z.

Yup Yup Yup.  TP   As soon as I saw the subject Da Gravetard popped into my head.  Jay-Z's verse=

[indeedproceed]

"Makin choices, that determine my future under the sky
To rob steal or kill, I'm wondering why
It's a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?
Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

-Nas

"Hip Hop will simply amaze you
Praise you, pay you
Do whatever you say do
But black, it can't save you"

- Mos Def

Those are both great lyrics, but neither is a punchline. Both great lyrics from all-time great MC's.

Being serious here, im confused. isn't:

Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is"

a punch line?

What's the definition, i thought it was just a sick end to a verse, which both those seem to be.

Too me anyways, a punchline is kind of like a joke you can tell at a party, usually flipping the meaning of words.

It should be able to stand alone, shouldn't be longer than 3 lines top, and usually its kinda funny.

Some artists use it a lot, some don't. Mos Def isn't a big 'punchline' guy.

Like look at Ms Fat Booty, Mos Def's biggest single.

http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/mos_def/black_on/fatbooty.mos.txt

He's a story teller, a talker.

Then look at like "Can't Knock The Hustle" by Jay-z

http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/jigga/doubt/knock.jyz.txt

He makes a lot of his living on flipping the meaning of words, usually in a tongue in cheek manner.

All Kanye's raps are basically punchline driven, especially tracks off "College Dropout".

Just because a rapper doesn't use punchlines doesn't mean they couldn't, or they can't be amazing rappers...its just kind of a style thing.

Lil' Wayne also uses punchlines a lot..but nobody knows what the heck he's talking about.

EDIT: Its kind of like playing the dozens or doing 'yo momma' jokes...

Line one: Setup
Line two: Joke

Yo momma's so stupid,
She thinks a quarterback,
Is a refund.

If it rhymed, it would be a punchline.

[LilRip]

lol, lots of great punchlines already posted here but check this verse out. It's a diss about Lebron's move to the Miami Heat. hilarious if you ask me!

“The Decision”
Summer two thousand and ten
Remember where you was?
Jay does
And also when
He got on that plane to Cleveland
Comrade Mikhail at his side
We were goin’ on a trip
Just to get taken for a ride
Up to the office of L-R-M-R marketing
All for the chance to sit down and remark to King
James “oh, sire, if only you’d consider
Our noble little quest to turn our team into a winner”
But man, we sold that s**t, spared no expense
LeBron sat and listened, starin’ all intense
Then he thanked us for our time, and sent us on our way
Like he was Alec f*****n’ Baldwin and we was Tina f*****n’ Fey
Yeah, we was playing 30 Rock, instead of dirty Roc-a-Fella
And then he shot us in the gut like our name was Old Yeller
Because we soon found out we’d been wasting our time
You see, LBJ had long ago made up his mind
While we thought there was some mystery to the whole, “man, where will he go?”
Turns out LeBron was just playing us to stroke his own ego
Well wasting Jay’s time? That’s a sin you can’t repent
So lube up, Bron, here comes the Nas treatment

King James, a “global icon”
Who came up with that? Your dumb-**s hype mon?
How can you be an icon when you ain’t done s**t
Except win 60 games, then in the playoffs, quit?
I don’t know who advises you, but I’m telling you you oughta
Tell your lap dog there’s only one Maverick named Carter
LRMR Marketing? Don’t make me laugh
I got more chauffeurs than your office got staff
LeBron, Richard, Maverick and Randy
That’s four names but one client - b*****s, what’s your Plan B?
They’ll be four dead in O-hi-o when I’m done
And they’ll play this track at your funeral instead of Neil Young
But enough about boy businessmen, I’m here to talk about you
You can call me Paul Pierce, here’s your helping of truth

You ain’t done s**t, but act like the world owes you
You wanna be a billionaire? S**t, son, I’ll loan it to you
Because you won’t get there on your own now that you gave up your brand
They call you a manchild? Well I say drop the ‘man’
Just because you got a tattoo doesn’t mean that you loyal
Just because you call yourself “King” doesn’t mean that you royal
And even if you was royal, it was only in the Cleve
Which makes you dumb as s**t for the way you chose to leave
The rest of this kingdom’s already got a ruler
Wanna guess what his name is? Anyone? Bueller?
That’s right, it’s Jay, and long live the King
I got rooms full of jewels while you’re still scrambling for a ring
“Take my talents to South Beach?” B****h, the team’s called the Heat
And just in case you think your boys can’t be beat
I got something to say to your number two and number three
Cuz when you f**k with Jay, I f**k your whole family


Now Wade’s got a title, and yeah, he’s got game
And the money and the honeys and the fortune and the fame
But let me tell you something ’bout your super friend Dwyane
The least f*****d up thing about him is the way he spells his name
Don’t get me wrong, there’s weird s**t that I did
But who the f*** gets it on in front of their own kids?
And what the hell was up with you and Star Jones?
And the band-aid on your face? F*** is wrong with you, homes?
And CB4? F*** does that even stand for?
I forgot your name seconds after you walked in the door
And while I’m standing here trying to remember your name
You can say your goodbyes to your last All-Star game
You think you’re big time all of a sudden? Turtle, from where I sit
You’re a C-list baby sucking A-list t^t
Tell you what, sunshine, I’m gonna help you out
With a call and response for the league’s fans to shout
Lemme hear you say “Wade! James! And what’s his name?”

*crowd sounds*

I wanna thank you for coming to visit me today
And I hope I didn’t waste your precious time in any way
One final question to consider and then we’ll start boozin’ it
And my name’s not Jim Gray, so no, you won’t be choosin’ it
Magic, Jordan, Bird, Kobe, Russell
The all-time alphas with the all-time hustle
Now here’s my question, and then we’ll get gone
Does it bother you that list won’t ever say ‘LeBron’?
Hell, it’d bother me, but then I’m not one to say
Cuz in hip-hop that list’s got just one name - Jay

[Bahku]

"I'm gonna knock you out ...
Mama said knock you out!"

(LL Cool J)

[steve]

lol, lots of great punchlines already posted here but check this verse out. It's a diss about Lebron's move to the Miami Heat. hilarious if you ask me!

“The Decision”
Summer two thousand and ten
Remember where you was?
Jay does
And also when
He got on that plane to Cleveland
Comrade Mikhail at his side
We were goin’ on a trip
Just to get taken for a ride
Up to the office of L-R-M-R marketing
All for the chance to sit down and remark to King
James “oh, sire, if only you’d consider
Our noble little quest to turn our team into a winner”
But man, we sold that s**t, spared no expense
LeBron sat and listened, starin’ all intense
Then he thanked us for our time, and sent us on our way
Like he was Alec f*****n’ Baldwin and we was Tina f*****n’ Fey
Yeah, we was playing 30 Rock, instead of dirty Roc-a-Fella
And then he shot us in the gut like our name was Old Yeller
Because we soon found out we’d been wasting our time
You see, LBJ had long ago made up his mind
While we thought there was some mystery to the whole, “man, where will he go?”
Turns out LeBron was just playing us to stroke his own ego
Well wasting Jay’s time? That’s a sin you can’t repent
So lube up, Bron, here comes the Nas treatment

King James, a “global icon”
Who came up with that? Your dumb-**s hype mon?
How can you be an icon when you ain’t done s**t
Except win 60 games, then in the playoffs, quit?
I don’t know who advises you, but I’m telling you you oughta
Tell your lap dog there’s only one Maverick named Carter
LRMR Marketing? Don’t make me laugh
I got more chauffeurs than your office got staff
LeBron, Richard, Maverick and Randy
That’s four names but one client - b*****s, what’s your Plan B?
They’ll be four dead in O-hi-o when I’m done
And they’ll play this track at your funeral instead of Neil Young
But enough about boy businessmen, I’m here to talk about you
You can call me Paul Pierce, here’s your helping of truth

You ain’t done s**t, but act like the world owes you
You wanna be a billionaire? S**t, son, I’ll loan it to you
Because you won’t get there on your own now that you gave up your brand
They call you a manchild? Well I say drop the ‘man’
Just because you got a tattoo doesn’t mean that you loyal
Just because you call yourself “King” doesn’t mean that you royal
And even if you was royal, it was only in the Cleve
Which makes you dumb as s**t for the way you chose to leave
The rest of this kingdom’s already got a ruler
Wanna guess what his name is? Anyone? Bueller?
That’s right, it’s Jay, and long live the King
I got rooms full of jewels while you’re still scrambling for a ring
“Take my talents to South Beach?” B****h, the team’s called the Heat
And just in case you think your boys can’t be beat
I got something to say to your number two and number three
Cuz when you f**k with Jay, I f**k your whole family


Now Wade’s got a title, and yeah, he’s got game
And the money and the honeys and the fortune and the fame
But let me tell you something ’bout your super friend Dwyane
The least f*****d up thing about him is the way he spells his name
Don’t get me wrong, there’s weird s**t that I did
But who the f*** gets it on in front of their own kids?
And what the hell was up with you and Star Jones?
And the band-aid on your face? F*** is wrong with you, homes?
And CB4? F*** does that even stand for?
I forgot your name seconds after you walked in the door
And while I’m standing here trying to remember your name
You can say your goodbyes to your last All-Star game
You think you’re big time all of a sudden? Turtle, from where I sit
You’re a C-list baby sucking A-list t^t
Tell you what, sunshine, I’m gonna help you out
With a call and response for the league’s fans to shout
Lemme hear you say “Wade! James! And what’s his name?”

*crowd sounds*

I wanna thank you for coming to visit me today
And I hope I didn’t waste your precious time in any way
One final question to consider and then we’ll start boozin’ it
And my name’s not Jim Gray, so no, you won’t be choosin’ it
Magic, Jordan, Bird, Kobe, Russell
The all-time alphas with the all-time hustle
Now here’s my question, and then we’ll get gone
Does it bother you that list won’t ever say ‘LeBron’?
Hell, it’d bother me, but then I’m not one to say
Cuz in hip-hop that list’s got just one name - Jay

I actually thought that was Jay Z.

[Big_Dave31]

EDIT: We've been toeing the line of masked profanity in this thread but that's probably over it.

[makaveli]

My favorite artist is 2pac but this verse from Fabulous is sick sick sick sick:

I see em on the block when i passes
Lookin like they need oxygen mask-s
I make it hard to breathe
But i keep the glocks in the stashes
Cuz the cops wanna lock and harass us
And make it hard to breathe
They has to react
Like havin a asthma attack
When they see the plasma in back
You dudes r wheezin behind me
My flow is like a coup, breezin at 90
That's the reason they signed me
Its quick metaphors and hard punches on the cuts
Feels something like hard punches to the gut
How i address the haters, and under estimaters
And ride up on them like they escalators
They shook up, and hooked up to respirators
On they last breath talking to investigatorsIm a breathe of fresh air
And a fresh pair
Face it boo, and do it till ur face get blue
And then breathe

and

When the crew walk in it
Pop a few corks in it
As quick as a tick in a new york minute
Catch a breath, fore u catch a left
Even worse, catch a tef
Only way u catch a f
To the ab, its in the maybe
 

[Assassin70]

Since all the ones I was going to mention of the top of my head have pretty much been covered.  I will just have to add my favorite punchline of 2010.

Kanye West from his Cypher freestyle from this years BET Hip Hop awards.

"To many Urkels on your team, that's why your Winslow."

Been laughing about that line since I heard it. 

[Assassin70]

Wait a sec, how could I forget?

you guys are sleeping too

Big Pun Twinz Deep Cover 98

Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily

Big Pun was a BEAST