Favorite Hip Hop Punchline?

[ToppersBsktball10]

Ask Beavis, I get nothing Butthead.  - Big L

That's classic.

[ToppersBsktball10]

"We transporting handguns in a mini-van, THAT'S a pistol whip!"

"Shoot at your Chicago fitted, knocked your socks (X) off, aimed at your door, hit your head, shot your locks off... It's the army, we got power in numbers and that's 9's 45's 3-57's and M500's"

"I'm Jesus in the flesh, so this is MFin Christian rap"

"And a year before your kid's tenth birthday came, you didn't have to wait for candles on the cake to see the nine flame"

- Celph Titled

Celph's dope.

[ToppersBsktball10]

I know this guy on the internet named Metaphive who throw together crazy stuff, i'll paste some of the better, less profane stuff:
"I came out first, cursing and screaming, just burping the demons since i had the tightest delivery since the birth of jesus!"
"I SPIT-PROPANE-FROM-TWELVE-THROATS, what you BATTLE-RAP-WITH-A-DRAGON-FOR? I'll DISLOCATE-YA-ELBOW, so you can PAT-YA'SELF-ON-THE-BACK-SOME-MORE"

" This KIDS-REIGN-IS-TOPPLED, I'll BELITTLE-YOUR-WEAK-FLOWS, no joke, you look like a teenage Canibus in the MIDDLE-OF-KEMO/"

he has way better stuff than that, but that's all i can find for now

[ToppersBsktball10]

I know this guy on the internet named Metaphive who throw together crazy stuff, i'll paste some of the better, less profane stuff:
"I came out first, cursing and screaming, just burping the demons since i had the tightest delivery since the birth of jesus!"
"I SPIT-PROPANE-FROM-TWELVE-THROATS, what you BATTLE-RAP-WITH-A-DRAGON-FOR? I'll DISLOCATE-YA-ELBOW, so you can PAT-YA'SELF-ON-THE-BACK-SOME-MORE"

" This KIDS-REIGN-IS-TOPPLED, I'll BELITTLE-YOUR-WEAK-FLOWS, no joke, you look like a teenage Canibus in the MIDDLE-OF-KEMO/"

he has way better stuff than that, but that's all i can find for now

Oh and his whole style on audio is like eminem. Text is insane.

[JSD]

Ask Beavis, I get nothing Butthead.  - Big L

That's classic.

Haha. That is a classic one.

Immortal is up there:

The bling-bling era was cute but it's about to be done
I leave ya full of clipse like the moon blocking the sun

[mgent]

Eminem's gotta be the king. (of punchlines and rap)

[pearljammer10]

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother ********* law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So I...pull over to the side of the road
I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?
"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "
"Liscense and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of **it all my paper's legit
"Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?"
"Or somebody important or somethin'?"
Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my **it
"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"
I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one
Hit me





Awesome...Just pure awesome.

[indeedproceed]

Jay-z always sticks with me.

Yung'uns ice-grilling me, oh - you're not feeling me?
Fine; it cost you nothing - pay me no mind

-Heart of the City

Whenever there's a drought
Get your umbrellas out
Because, that's when I brainstorm

-Public Service Annoucement

That's fried chicken curried chicken (darn) I'm gettin fat,
Arroz con pollo, french fries and crepes,
An appetite for destruction but I scrape the plate!

-Girls, Girls, Girls

I didn't need OHHLA or anything for that. That's how you know a good punchline.

If you want a fun song check out "Hip Hop Quoteables" by Ludacris (before he was terrible). A sample:

Take a look at yo' life, and NO WONDER you so sad
Y'all put up with more (crap) than a colostomy bag, fool!

Link to listen to song
 

[JSD]

Eminem's gotta be the king. (of punchlines and rap)

One of why favorite Em lines:

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

[JSD]

Eminem's gotta be the king. (of punchlines and rap)

One of why favorite Em lines:

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

Em just flat out kills it here too:

Now who's the king of these rude ludicrous lucrative lyrics
Who could inherit the title, put the youth in hysterics
Using his music to steer it, sharin his views and his merits
But there's a huge interference - they're sayin you shouldn't hear it
Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit
Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish
But I'm debated disputed hated and viewed in America
as a mother****in drug addict - like you didn't experiment?

[indeedproceed]

Eminem's gotta be the king. (of punchlines and rap)

One of why favorite Em lines:

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

Em just flat out kills it here too:

Now who's the king of these rude ludicrous lucrative lyrics
Who could inherit the title, put the youth in hysterics
Using his music to steer it, sharin his views and his merits
But there's a huge interference - they're sayin you shouldn't hear it
Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit
Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish
But I'm debated disputed hated and viewed in America
as a mother****in drug addict - like you didn't experiment?

That's good, but to me it isn't a punchline. That's why when you guys say Eminem is the king of punchlines, I don't get it. Eminem is a great rapper, but he's more of a story-teller, and he brings a part of America (white, poor) to light in rap music that nobody has been able to do as well as he did before he showed up or since. But his punchlines aren't what grabs me.

[MattG12]

My minds make incisions in your anatomy
And I back this with deuteronomy or leviticus
God made this word, you can’t get with this
Sweet like licorice, dangerous like syphillis

- Lauryn Hill on How Many Mics

[fairweatherfan]

I always liked

If Faith have twins she'll probably have two Pacs - BIG

Love that he went after himself on that one. 

[indeedproceed]

My minds make incisions in your anatomy
And I back this with deuteronomy or leviticus
God made this word, you can’t get with this
Sweet like licorice, dangerous like syphillis

- Lauryn Hill on How Many Mics

That's top notch lyrics too, but not a punchline, you know? A punch line is like

"Blah Blah Blah" (setup)
"Something" (maybe more setup, but the second line is optional)
"Punchline"

That Lauren Hill line, the punchline might be at "God made this word, you can't get with this"

The sweet like licorice line..it doesn't really hit you, you know?

[MattG12]

My minds make incisions in your anatomy
And I back this with deuteronomy or leviticus
God made this word, you can’t get with this
Sweet like licorice, dangerous like syphillis

- Lauryn Hill on How Many Mics

That's top notch lyrics too, but not a punchline, you know? A punch line is like

"Blah Blah Blah" (setup)
"Something" (maybe more setup, but the second line is optional)
"Punchline"

That Lauren Hill line, the punchline might be at "God made this word, you can't get with this"

The sweet like licorice line..it doesn't really hit you, you know?

lol I know

I just happened to be listening to that when I saw this thread and just wanted to post it because it was good.