My First Foray Into Rap (please tell me what you think)

[Rondo_is_better]

Hey guys,

so this link http://belgianman.com/songs/36/display is the first production I've ever released. It's a freestyle rap, so keep that in mind when judging the lyrical content. I would love some feedback--I know we have some hip-hop experts on this site.

Thanks guys 

[Rondo_is_better]

Bump. I probably didn't post this at the best time.

[indeedproceed]

I'm just guessing here, but...big Lil Wayne fan?

[Ghost_Deini]

I'm just guessing here, but...big Lil Wayne fan?

Haha I was def thinking the same thing.


But for a freestyle that was pretty good.  The beat bumps, but I dont know if I am really feelin it to be honest.  Then again I'm not a huge lil wayne fan

[indeedproceed]

Yeah I'm not saying that it wasn't good, just sounded a lot like lil wayne.

[Rondo_is_better]

Haha yes, a lot of my influence comes from Drake and Lil Wayne, I'll admit. I listen to and like a lot of other rappers, but when I rap (especially freestyle) this is just what comes out....

what gave it away hahaha, the bird noise?

[indeedproceed]

Haha yes, a lot of my influence comes from Drake and Lil Wayne, I'll admit. I listen to and like a lot of other rappers, but when I rap (especially freestyle) this is just what comes out....

what gave it away hahaha, the bird noise?

Nah man it's the flow. It reminded me of that one song Playin With Fire

And I feel caged in my mind, it's like my flow doin time
I goes crazy inside, but when it comes out it's fine
Like wine, wait, watch
See I get better with time like a watch


The pauses after 'its fine', then where it picks back up, you did the same thing a few times in there. Lil Wayne is the only guy that does that but still sounds casual.

[lon3lytoaster]

Haha yes, a lot of my influence comes from Drake and Lil Wayne, I'll admit. I listen to and like a lot of other rappers, but when I rap (especially freestyle) this is just what comes out....

what gave it away hahaha, the bird noise?

Yea, not to be offensive at all, or at least trying to not be.. Wasn't feeling it. Lil Wayne is probably my least favorite "artist" there is out there today... Surprisingly, though.. I didn't even think of him when listening to you, though.

It's really just my opinion.. It's not my style of rap/hip hop.. I listen to like KRS-One, Immortal Technqiue, Apathy blah blah ect. You know, just what I consider the only thing keeping me interested rap music (Not the hip hop culture itself, I live that.. Just the music portion)

So I don't like that style of rap, as said but that's not to say others won't. I'm never against anyone pursuing dreams or making music, I love listening to and making music so I could never really hate any independant artist trying to do their thing.

It's really just the sell-outs and no names talking about diamonds, cars and that stupid crap that irks me.. But, it's whatever. You have some potential, I think.. Keep doing your thing.

[Ian]

it's alright, you should find new influences, but the quality of the recording is pretty good.

[Roy Hobbs]

The rappers I like best tend to use clever lyrics, rather than falling back on stale, stereotypical rap topics like women, sex, cars, etc.  While you flowed pretty well lyrically, I just didn't care for the lyrics.

[lon3lytoaster]

The rappers I like best tend to use clever lyrics, rather than falling back on stale, stereotypical rap topics like women, sex, cars, etc.  While you flowed pretty well lyrically, I just didn't care for the lyrics.

Just curious, but what would you define as clever lyrics? Are you talking song topics, or actual clever lyrics? (Like.. Oh, like Celph Titled for example)

[moiso]

I didn't hear much Lil Wayne, more like Snoop.  Sounds impressive for a regular person, but not quite good enough yet to sell records.  Keep at it.

[jdub1660]

The rappers I like best tend to use clever lyrics, rather than falling back on stale, stereotypical rap topics like women, sex, cars, etc.  While you flowed pretty well lyrically, I just didn't care for the lyrics.

Ditto + a TP. My view on "clever rappers" would be some songs by 50cent, most songs by Chamillionaire, Kanye West, etc. I didn't hear any Lil Wayne reference, as much as I heard more of Hot Karl - Blao from NBA live 03.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDr35galmfM&feature=PlayList&p=6627CFDB120EAEF6&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=5

[Rondo_is_better]

The rappers I like best tend to use clever lyrics, rather than falling back on stale, stereotypical rap topics like women, sex, cars, etc.  While you flowed pretty well lyrically, I just didn't care for the lyrics.

Valid point Roy--this was a freestyle rap, though. Not much time to contemplate what I'm saying in between lines.

I didn't hear much Lil Wayne, more like Snoop.  Sounds impressive for a regular person, but not quite good enough yet to sell records.  Keep at it.

This is my first real track so I don't have any illusions yet haha. I know I need to keep at it and practice--its the only way to improve. 

[JSD]

Just curious, why are you releasing a free-style rap as your first recorded track? You should break the pen and pad out and write out a song. I'm not a big fan of that style of rap but you had a decent flow.