Having subbed a bit myself lately, I prefer some quality Henny Youngman one liners as a form of entertainment for the students. Wizardry is just so overdone. The key is finding a 2nd grader who can be your straight man. During recess you pull a kid aside, slip him a buck and tell him when you get back to class to ask you about your trip to the doctor, or when you bring up the story about you dog with no nose, make sure he feeds you the line: "No nose, then how does he smell?"