at
the mighty Charlotte Bobcats (33-40) at the lowly Boston Celtics (56-19) Wednesday, April 1
7:30 PM ET
Game #76, Home Game #37
TV: Mine
TD Banknorth Garden Coach: The Geico Caveman
Average Age: 26.7
Average Height: 6-6
Average Weight: 222 (TAKE OUT BIG BABY AND SCAL... IT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER!)Probable Starters PG: Stephon Marbury PPG 11.8 RPG 5.20 APG 8.5 EFF + 18.95
SG: Will Solomon PPG 18.4 RPG 3.50 APG 2.7 EFF + 17.07
SF: Bill Walker PPG 20.3 RPG 5.80 APG 3.7 EFF + 18.99
PF: Kevin Garnett PPG 6.2 RPG 3.80 APG 0.9 EFF + 7.38
C: Kendrick Perkins PPG 8.5 RPG 8.10 APG 1.2 EFF + 14.33
ReservesEddie House
Glen Davis
Gabe Pruitt
that non shooting waste of space Rajon Rondo
Mikki Moore
Ray Allen
Paul Pierce
Eddie House's kid
Injuries:Tony Allen (thumb) out
Brian Scalabrine (head) out
Leon Powe (knee) out
Lucky the Leprechaun (ego) out
Coach: Larry Br- Really? STILL? Well, okay then. Larry Brown
Average Age: 25.8
Average Height: 6-6 (how original)
Average Weight: 222Probable Starters PG: Raymond Felton PPG 13.7 RPG 3.80 APG 6.8 EFF + 15.18
SG: a mean-looking Raja Bell PPG 12.0 RPG 3.70 APG 2.1 EFF + 11.34
SF: Gerald Wallace PPG 16.8 RPG 7.70 APG 2.8 EFF + 20.71
PF: Boris Diaw PPG 13.0 RPG 5.30 APG 3.9 EFF + 15.25
C: Emeka Okafor PPG 13.6 RPG 10.10 APG 0.6 EFF + 18.64
ReservesVladimir Radmonovic HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... sorry
Alexis Ajinca- The French never were valued for their defense.
Nazr Mohammed- Can we still get him? To fill PJ Brown's role? Or be the backup PG?
Sean Singletary- Just keep shooting, just keep shooting, just keep shooting
Juwan Howard- This guy was old 12 years ago
Sean May- 2008 graduate of the Vin Baker School of Conditioning... David Wells was his personal trainer
DJ Augustin- Wait, I thought this guy was still on Texas. He's why I picked Texas in the bracket! What the HELL!
DeSagana (I have to take a) Diop
Jacques Cartier Martin
Don't Ask, Dontell Jefferson
InjuriesNone... YET!
Key Matchups vs
Paul Pierce vs Gerald Wallace
Look for Pierce to employ the Harding technique on Wallace if he inexplicably goes off for a ton of stupid points like he always does against the Cs. He's the Frank Catalanotto of basketball. I hate that guy.
vs
Rajon Rondo vs Raymond Felton
Remember when Raymond Felton used to be good? Man that was fun. I liked those UNC teams. They grow up so fast.
Honorable MentionKendrick Perkins vs Emeka Okafor
Perk's screwed. Okafor is simply going to out think poor Kendrick, as Okafor graduated early. Seriously, he did. On thoughts alone, Perk will foul out in ten minutes and be replaced by the much more disciplined liberal filmmaker Mikki Moore.
Team Connections:Nazr Mohammed and Rajon Rondo are all former KY Wildcats LIKE ANTOINE!
Emeka Okafor (wicked smaht) and Ray Allen are former UConn Huskies... Isn't that where Donny Marshall went? No seriously, can someone help me out there?
Eddie House was a member of the inaugural Bobcats team in 2004-05...Put that on your mantle Eddie!
DeSagana Diop and Rajon Rondo both attended Oak Hill Academy, where they were continually amazed fellow Oak Hill alum Mark Blount ever dribbled a ball not off his toe.
Juwan Howard played for the Geico Caveman in Orlando in '03-04
Game Notes It's become evident that Michael Jordan just won his position on this team in some drunk card game, and hasn't gotten around to betting them away yet. Just send them to Europe already. Berlin Bobcats? Birmingham Bobcats? Barcelona? hmm...
Until then, there's a game to play tonight. Could be interesting. Probably won't be.
Keys to the GameSit Rondo - Marbury is clearly the point guard of the future for this team. I just wish he wouldn't pass as much. Don't be so unselfish, Starbury!
Rush KG Back - The Bobcats are obviously one of the worst teams in the league. This means we absolutely MUST win this game to keep up appearances. Bring back Garnett for at least 45 of the 48 minutes. Overtime should not be an issue if we ride the Big Ticket and his knee to victory!
Defense - Who needs it? I mean really, name one NBA team that has ever won a title with defense. Just outscore everyone. It's a simple game, really.
X-FactorBench Play
Apparently Mikki Moore can tie his shoelaces. It's a start.
APRIL FOOLS